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An android from the sci-fi/comedy series Red Dwarf, Kryten looks like a human wearing metallic clothes, but has a cube-like, geometric head. He became a regular in Series 3, played by Robert Llewellyn, but was actually first seen in an episode of Series 2 in which the Red Dwarf crew find him on a crashed spacecraft. He has been programmed to look after the crew of the marooned craft, but didn't realise they had been dead for many years. Played by Dave Ross, his original character was based on the butler in 'The Admirable Crichton'. Taken back to Red Dwarf, he was persuaded to rebel against Rimmer's task-master treatment and went joy-riding on Lister's space bike. In the Series 3 prologue (freeze-frame the tape/DVD to read it) it was revealed he had crashed, and that Lister had put him back together but had been unable to restore his original personality. Since then Lister has fought a losing battle trying to encourage Kryten to break his programming (by developing emotions, being able to lie etc). It has been revealed that Kryten can change heads, can detach his hand and send it to bring help, and can remove his eyes (useful for when communicating with human-hating psychotic androids).
Kryten: What a smeeee. What a smeeeee. What a smeeeeeee heeeeeeeee....
kryten by Stormsworder October 18, 2006
Related Words
red dawarf yeah sure but it can also be used instead of shit!
used if you stub your toe
what a pile of kryten

or if you were to stub you toe: "KRYTEN!!!!....... who the fuck decided to put the coffee table there anyway"
Kryten by meggie eggie February 3, 2008

the kryten

laughing at a joke that is not really funny
" i love how you did the kryten."

Kretenizem 

1.)A condition of severely stunted physical and mental growth due to untreated congenital deficiency of thyroid hormones.

2.)A remarkably cool word which can be used for various purposes:

afor addressing someone who is really stupid or annoys the shit out of you;

bfor pointing out how you don't like something;

cif you have nothing to say when someone tells a funny or stupid joke;

dwhen someone says something you find extremely irritating;

equite frankly it can be used as a substitution for any curse word in the existence.
1.) -OMGWTF what's up with that guy?
-Dude, you shouldn't make fun of him, I think he has kretenizem.

2.)a -Hey, what's up?
-Shut the f*** up you kretenizem!

b-Wooooow that's astounding!
-naah, I think it's really stupid ... what a kretenizem.

c-You know why the world didn't end? Because Chuck Norris didn't allow it! HAHAHAHAHAHA
-haha kretenizem :)

d-{jaw drops to the ground} Damn, look at that girls rack!
-That's my girlfriend you piece of shit! stop being such a kretenizem!

e-kretenizem kretenizem, get of my property you fucking kretenizem or I will shoot the kretenizem out of your kretenizem!!! (also it sounds way less awkward than "I will shoot the shit out of your ass")
Kretenizem by Bosslike January 14, 2013
One of those rare individuals who is damn near perfect, and whose only flaws are endearingly endearing. Usually drop dead-gorgeous with a fantastic rear end; has the ability to levitate on demand.
Who was that goddess that just floated by?
Oh that was just Krysten.
Krysten by bluemoonin October 17, 2008
Bosnian - Pronounced "kre - tan". You have to roll the 'r'.

A complete moron. The dumbest of the dumb. Lowest of the low.

Used when "a fucking retard" is simply not enough.
Ex : That fucking kreten shit on the floor, again.

Ex : My roommate takes showers at 12:15 AM and wakes me up every night, even after I told him it wakes me the fuck up. He's so clueless, that fucking kreten.
kreten by donkey dick sucker February 21, 2011