astronog 

An Astronaut of colour

Blimey, the first black man in space, guess he's an astronog

astronog by Roman Totale October 23, 2007

Astrology

A practice used to determine people’s personalities from the positions of stars and planets during their birthdays. Although it seems harmless, some idiots have used it to justify their hate for certain people.

Astrology lover: WhEn Is YoUr BiRtHdAy?
Normal person: November the-
Astrology lover: Ew YoUr A sCoRpIo GeT aWaY fRoM mE!!!1!1!
Normal person: What the hell is wrong with you?

Astrology by akt858 August 29, 2020

Love problem solution astrologer 

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Love problem solution astrologer by Love Problem Solution Astrol July 1, 2019

Astronomia 

The thing that happens when you're about to die.

Person 1: OMG That girl's about to die in the movie!
Person 2: *Plays Astronomia*

Astronomia by Ary_Mishor April 22, 2020

Astrology

Bullshit

Astrology is bullshit

Astrology by Yaboilongdong November 2, 2019

Astrology

Fake. No you’re not rude because you’re a Aries or Scorpio or whatever the fuck astrologers say.

I’m sorry baby, I’m just a Gemini so I cheat. Please take me back!

No Kelsey, stop blaming Astrology. The way the stars are lined up on your birthday is no excuse for you being an absolute cunt.

Date: Yeah I love astrology it’s totally 100% accurate.
Guy with brain; Ight Imma head out (leaves date)

Guy: I’m a Scorpio and my daily horoscope said that you have to suck my dick
Naive astrologer girl: Really? Ok!

Astrology by Justaguy31 November 30, 2021

portal astrology 

When anxious college applicants believes that any changes in their college admissions portal indicates whether or not they have been accepted or rejected. Commonly discussed about online on college-admissions forums.

"OMG MY PORTAL TEXT SHIFTED ONE PIXEL TO THE LEFT!!!"

"Bro OMG mine didn't. I think you got in!!! I believe in portal astrology"

portal astrology by udcollege March 30, 2021