Skip to main content

Assfumble 

Running into a man and dropping your things as a result. Mark Sanchez is prone to assfumbling, but an assfumble can happen on the street. Walking into a man and dropping your bag or running towards the line of scrimmage and hitting your offensive lineman in the ass, fumbilng.
Football Example: Mark Sanchez has the ball, he makes contact with his lineman, assfumble! Patriots have the ball! Patriots have the ball!

Everyday example: Man, I was walking to the store when I ran into a guy and totally assfumbled my phone.

assfuckery 

The chaos and general confusion resulting from poorly planned and executed activities.
"When Mike told the waitress that all 20 people watching the game would be on one tab, I set up my own tab with the bartender. I wanted no part of the assfuckery that would happen when it came time to divy up the check."
assfuckery by The Eta April 8, 2009

Assfucker 

One who fucks asses. There is an unspoken implication that said "assfucker" is a male who prefers fucking male asses, i.e. who is gay.
Listen up, assfuckers, we gotta close our Bhagdad office!
Assfucker by Fred Mijan November 10, 2003

Assfucked without lube or a kiss 

In a bad situation or position impossible to get out of, which is the direct result of someone else's actions, usually intentional.

Synonyms: see royally screwed, fucked, up shit creek, shafted, buggered
1st Person: So he didn't tell you the exam was today?

2nd Person: Yeah; I've been assfucked without lube or a kiss.

1st Person: Wanker.

Assfucker 

Someone who loves to sodomize (a.k.a. anal sex); a homosexual male. Or any guy who loves to have anal sex with a woman.
Bill Clinton is an assfucker.
Assfucker by Jack Hitgoud March 27, 2005
Odor of someone who smells like 10 day old unwashed dirty ass.
That customer that was just here made this place smell like assfunk.
assfunk by Renee V. & Colleen H. January 4, 2009