Tonk-Tonks
Any person whose appearance or disposition suggests they may be less evolved than the average modern human. The common tonk-tonk will often be found in a multicolor japanese car with tilted rear wheels (due to improperly lowering its body without adjusting the suspension) blasting either reggaeton or doofdoof music (or any other primitive- or tribal-sounding monotonous soundtrack with simple and repetitious beats.) Many tonk-tonks wear loose-fitting clothing, seemingly because such garments remind them of the animalhide wrappings their grandparents crafted in the jungles and pastoral hills of the remote islands from which most tonk-tonks originate. Most tonk-tonks tend to have success in the bartering of goods (usually drugs) as their mental resources are geared toward the nomadic hunter-gatherer mentality. They also usually have some type of legal trouble following them, as their simple brains cannot grasp the concept of laws or rules. When one encounters the common tonk-tonk in its natural habitat (the club, fastfood restaurants, sportsbars) it is wise not to use complicated verbiage or gestures, as tonk-tonks are frightened of things they cannot understand and may initiate primal defense instincts, resulting in frantic utterances in their monkey-language and sometimes bitemarks. They can be restrained by employing well-aimed severe kicks to the face, especially once the tonk-tonk has fallen to the ground.
E.M.F. likes to yell at the Tonk-Tonks in his gwala gwala dialect because they think he can talk to their deceased ancestors who learned the secrets of sneaking past the border patrol and avoiding capture by the I.N.S.
Tonk-Tonks by spanky mackockleberrie October 4, 2010
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