Pilchered 

The state of excessive, playful jocularity. Generally involving the enormous consumption of varied western pharmaceuticals. Often resulting in extended periods of intense psychological fragility, introspection and at times self-loathing. May also experience wild parties, random hook-ups, increased “Friends”, disproportionate cigarette consumption and extreme popularity.

Renee is constantly seeking to be Pilchered!

John remained locked in is room for 2 day’s after a good Pilchering.
Mikel is the Pilcher king

If used responsibly, Pilchering can be a catylist to a better more motivated and eventful life

Pilchered by Exosoul August 17, 2018

philching 

The act of putting out a fire by putting a fist up your arse to massage your prostate to completion

That was a close one, thank god Marks philching put that fire out

philching by Binnsy100 February 1, 2019

pilchard 

A fish, often tinned and doused in lashings of tomato sauce.

In human form: a pilchard is a no good, manipulating git who slimes into your life without warning, often in an underhand and devious manner. The pilchard, or pilch, (if you will) will take you for all you are worth, sucking you dry of emotion, money and soul. They have a distinctive look (like Eddie Windass off Coronation Street) but this may be overlooked due to their uncanny ability to fit in and mingle with the everyday folk and ultimately defecate on the lives of all they come into contact with.

That Phil is such a pilchard, he lived off me for a year and even got his mum to re-mortgage her house so he could spend it on Richmond Superkings and Joop. Next time I see him I'm going to marinate him in tomato sauce!

pilchard by loufoo April 28, 2011

Joseph Pilcher 

The fattest nigga alive but so cute and handsome

God damn Joseph’s ass is so tight
Wow he is such a Joseph Pilcher

Joseph Pilcher by spɐp ǝɥʇ October 27, 2020

P.B Pilcher 

Guy who has a girlfriend but likes her lesbian best friend more.

Man look at that P.B Pilcher, he's totally hitting on that lesbian

P.B Pilcher by Nashed potatoes March 13, 2017

pilchard 

Idiot, fool, incompetent. A general all-purpose name to call people. Good when you are losing an argument, it can even combat mother-calling.

Guy 1 "Yeah but your mum's a slag"
Guy 2 "Shut it you PILCHARD"

pilchard by hypnoticme February 19, 2005

pilch 

to shit yourself as a result of being completely pissed

1. that was messy, i was so drunk i even pilched myself.

2. did u hear about that kid?
yeah, i heard he pilched all over the bed

pilch by PISTx80 March 4, 2009