Cretching 

To masturbate and cry simultaneously

Alex White was caught cretching in his dorm room to the soft undertones of Jan Arden

Cretching by Big Bad Bud 1970 July 10, 2016

Cretching 

The art of crying and masturbating simultaneously.

Alex was caught cretching in his dorm room to the soft undertones of Jan Arden.

Cretching by Big Bad Bud 1970 October 5, 2016

Cretching 

The art of crying and masturbating simultaneously.

Alex was caught cretching in his dorm room to the soft undertones of Jan Arden.

Cretching by Big Bad Bud 1970 October 5, 2016

Cretching 

The art of crying and masturbating simultaneously.

Alex was caught cretching in his dorm room to the soft undertones of Jan Arden.

Cretching by Big Bad Bud 1970 October 5, 2016

catching wood 

getting a boner.

She was too hot for him; when he saw her cleavage he was already catching wood.

catching wood by coldheart7 October 9, 2009

Crouching Uncle 

The act of walking into your aunt's bedroom and finding your uncle with his boxers around his ankles, squatting over your aunt while serving up a PBR and creamed-corn induced hot carl into her waiting mouth... most often occurring while re-runs of the Dukes of Hazard or Full House are playing on the TV.

I went over to Uncle Jethro's after the Nascar race, and when I walked into the trailer Aunt Tina was in the midst of wiping the Crouching Uncle off of her mustache.

Crouching Uncle by Ryjamin October 6, 2011

Catching the Crazy Turkey 

A type of sex act performed in bed. It starts with a wild turkey and ends with sex. Somewhere in between, you kill a chicken.

Ryan: You've been catching the crazy turkey over there in Lindsay's bed.
Michael: I don't know what that means.
Geoff: Never have I heard that phrase before.
Lindsay: We kind of go *Insert turkey noise* when we have sex.
Michael: God, don't tell him... What does it mean when someone "catches the crazy turkey"?
Ryan: It's wild. If you don't know, then it's too wild for you.

Catching the Crazy Turkey by Reckz December 13, 2014