Crouching Uncle

The act of walking into your aunt's bedroom and finding your uncle with his boxers around his ankles, squatting over your aunt while serving up a PBR and creamed-corn induced hot carl into her waiting mouth... most often occurring while re-runs of the Dukes of Hazard or Full House are playing on the TV.
I went over to Uncle Jethro's after the Nascar race, and when I walked into the trailer Aunt Tina was in the midst of wiping the Crouching Uncle off of her mustache.
by Ryjamin October 07, 2011
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Kentucky Sister

A female friend-with-benefits with whom one shares such a close bond that there is almost a blood-relation.
Me and Shannon's like peas and carrots, but since we're not related she's only my Kentucky Sister, so I still get to stick it in her ass whenever I want.
by Ryjamin May 15, 2012
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snatch apple

I wondered why Shannon was being such a bitch until I glanced at the trash can and noticed the pile of rotten snatch apples.
by Ryjamin September 05, 2012
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vampire tea bag

A sexual act in which a man engages in intercourse with his mesntruating lady friend, then proceeds to dunk his bloodied scrotum into her eagerly waiting wide-open mouth.
Seeking revenge for his lady friend tricking him into period sex, Matt pulled out mid-stroke and rewarded her with a sticky vampire tea bag.
by Ryjamin September 05, 2012
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