Hollister Co.
Hollister company originated in 1922 by the hand of great Osirus Hollister, the textiles pioneer from California...married 27 times Osirus became dillusional and decided that his goal in life was to produce a less expensive clone of the overly, and unjustifiably so popular abercrombie and fitch. In his vision he foresaw scores of young hormone induced teenagers filling his unneccessarily dark showroom where pink is now ok to be worn by the male sex, why? I dont know. Quickly, it has become the "it place" for the dreaded yet misunderstood metrosexuals, a strange breed of man that waxes their eyebrows, shaves their legs and wears 2, sometimes even 3 polo shirts at a time. Recently, it has come to this writers attention that an alarming number of african american denizens have decended upon the innocent aryan fortress that is hollister company. Why? again I dont know and I'll tell you right now black girls your big asses wont fit in the jeans so stop messing up my god damn jean walls, they take forever! And brothas, brothas what r u doing, now I know that pink may look good with your skin tone but we have our limits please. And lastly, to the obese or as I like to call them "land whales" the largest size is an 11, if you are 200+ pounds you just wont fit, deal with it and put the fork down then come back and see me. Far too many perfectly good booty shorts have been ruined when your large, cottage cheese, elephant-like ass stretched the elastic band to their breaking point and we end up with a 3 foot pair of pants of which we can do nothing about it. Stay posted as I will comment again soon. L8er bitches...
Hollister Co. by HCO Employee #13984031 April 5, 2005