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It's a joke not a dick you don't have to take it so hard 

something said when someone takes the joke too seriously or personally and they need a reminder of what they're mad about. knocks the sense back into someone real quick.
Samuel: It's a joke not a dick you don't have to take it so hard
Emanuel: I wish it was...
Samuel: what.
Emanuel: what.
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go and have a shave but not your face 

A derogatory way an individual calls another person hairy in parts other than their facial here.
"Hey ADAM go and have a shave but not your face"

i will be there at being a grammer and i will be there at least it's not only that but i don't know if you have any questions please feel free to contact me at any time with you and your family a 

A random ass auto correct from my phone
I don't know how to put this into a sentence i will be there at being a grammer and i will be there at least it's not only that but i don't know if you have any questions please feel free to contact me at any time with you and your family a

Who you have, not what you have

It is the presence of God in your life, not your possessions, that makes you a success—stop chasing material things and start a personal relationship with Him.
You may be financially naked, educationally unqualified, and not connected to people of influence, yet if you've faith in the power of the presence of God in your life, you can expect your nothings to turn into somethings—who you have, not what you have is what matters.

its not like youre good enough to come up with a new word and have everyone use it 

I'm a gamer, not because I don't have a life but because I choose to have many 

A phrase memed all over the internet as a cringy gamer quote. It's also famous as a shirt design.
"I'm a gamer, not because I don't have a life but because I choose to have many" is one of many examples of how gamers are the worst thing to happen to gaming.

its not gay if you have your socks on

ITS NOT GAY IF YOU HAVE YOUR SOCKS ON

DEATH TO ISRAEL