spanner monkey

A largely useless individual whose only career prospects are to work in maintainence departments painting walls and replacing light-bulbs. May have questionable habits such as an excess love of porn, language that would make a soldier blush and a equally useless son.

"Why can't one of those spanner monkeys come up here to fix the lights?"

spanner monkey by Mr Ben February 8, 2005

Get merch

Get the spanner monkey mug.

See more merch

Spanner Dog

A Spanner Dog refers to those of the human species that are well below the average intelligence. A Spanner Dog will resemble a mouthbreathing, dough banging idiot of a bloke. Common traits include vacant looks, low levels of comprehension, mouth agape, drooling, possible lazy eye.

“God, that Richie is a real Spanner Dog”

“Swing the gate back the other way, you spanner dog”

“You’re being a real spanner dog, just

Spanner Dog by Spanner dog January 10, 2020

Get merch

spanner eyes

A girl whose eyes are so sexy that when you look into them you can't help but get a raging lob-on.

Boy: Can I call you "spanner eyes"?
Girl: Why?
Boy: Cos every time I look into them me nuts tighten

spanner eyes by nimbyfield August 23, 2007

Get merch

Spanner Rash

"Spanner rash" is a UK term given to the cuts, bruises, blisters and other wounds you can get from working on the insides of a car, (a spanner is an English word for a wrench).

A mechanic would usually get spanner rash.

Changing the exhaust gave me terrible spanner rash.

Spanner Rash by Ultim@te ED February 27, 2008