A layer of toilet
paper (usually somewhere between 3 and 8 pieces) laid down on the surface of water within the toilet bowl before
one has a bowel movement. This layer of toilet
paper, or ‘landing pad’, serves a 3-
fold purpose: (
1) To prevent the dreaded splashback effect caused by the fecal displacement of water; (2) To soften the “KER-PLUNK!” sound that often occurs when feces breaks the surface tension of the water (this is particularly effective because the toilet
paper disables the properties of water’s surface tension by acting as a semi-permeable membrane, a sort of dampening medium between water and
air; further, the speed of the displacement of the water is lessened, which makes for a much softer noise); and (3) To bring about an awareness of the TP supply before use, negating any chance that
one might have a bowel movement, only to look over and notice that there is no toilet paper.
Johnny: "
Dude, I went to meet my
girlfriend's parents for the first time last night. Halfway through the night I realised that I needed to take a massive dump, which was uncomfortable because the bathroom was next to the living room where they were sitting, and the house was dead quiet"
Billy: "No way, man... what did you do?"
Johnny: "I built a wicked landing pad, so not only did they not hear me, but I was also able to stay as dry as a cracker for the whole experience. What a night it was!"
