A layer of toilet paper (usually somewhere between
3 and 8 pieces) laid down on the surface of
water within the toilet bowl before one has a bowel movement. This layer of toilet paper, or ‘landing pad’, serves a 3-fold purpose: (1) To prevent the dreaded splashback effect caused by the fecal displacement of
water; (2) To soften the “KER-PLUNK!” sound that often occurs when feces breaks the surface tension of the
water (this is particularly effective because the toilet paper disables the properties of
water’s surface tension by acting as a semi-permeable membrane, a sort of dampening medium between
water and air; further, the speed of the displacement of the
water is lessened, which makes for a much softer noise); and (3) To bring about an awareness of the TP supply before use, negating any chance that one might have a bowel movement, only to look over and notice that there is no toilet paper.
Johnny: "Dude, I went to meet my
girlfriend's parents for the first time last night. Halfway through the night I realised that I needed to take a massive dump, which was uncomfortable because the bathroom was next to the living room where they were sitting, and the house was
dead quiet"
Billy: "No way, man... what did you do?"
Johnny: "I built a wicked landing pad, so not only did they not hear me, but I was also able to stay as dry as a cracker for the whole experience. What a night it was!"
