stringy paddle 

n. A Violin.

As used in the Strangers With Candy episode when Jerri Blank (played by Amy Sedaris) becomes a violin prodigy.

Jerri (Amy Sedaris) discovers she has a previously unknown talent in this episode of the off-color Comedy Central series. Kicked out of the Flatpoint High orchestra by Mr. Jellineck (Paul Dinello) for pounding on the timpani and refusing to follow directions, a distressed Jerri remains behind after class and begins experimenting with the various instruments. Eavesdropping on the horrible sounds coming from the orchestra room, Mr. Noblot (Stephen Colbert) is stunned when Jerri picks up the violin and starts playing beautifully. Soon taking her under his wing and forcing her to practice tirelessly, Mr. Noblot isolates Jerri from her friends and peers in order to vicariously experience the success that eluded him as a child. Distressed by the scratches on Jerri's hands from attempting to groom the family cat, Mr. Noblot brings Jerri to live with him so that she may focus entirely on her practicing. With Mr. Noblot's newfound obsession driving a wedge between him and Mr. Jellineck, and the disapproval of Jerri's father adding to the negative impact that practicing has had on her social life, Jerri decides to give up the "stringy paddle" (her name for the violin) the very night of the Tri-County Music Championship. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide

stringy paddle by smudgetool September 17, 2008

stat padding 

Inflating one's individual score or statistics in a video game without productive contribution to gameplay. Usually refers to a style of play that neglects all other activities except those yielding easy points to personal score.

In games requiring teamwork, the "padder's" contribution to the team effort and their team's capabilities usually suffer as a result.

One probable origin of the expression is the video game Battlefield 2, where various, originally supportive activities could be abused to gain individual score without actually contributing to gameplay. In Battlefield: Bad Company 2 the tradition continued, as reviving dying players repeatedly with the defibrillator "pads" yielded relatively high personal score, but in most instances contributed little to the team effort, as the medic would essentially abandon all other activity, sometimes even being counterproductive by preventing teammates from playing freely.

*a round ends*
padder> "OH YEAH #1"
player> "we lost you statspadding dick, you cost us 30 tickets for your 2 kills"
padder> "YEAH BUT I AM THE BEST"
player> "no, you're just a score whore"
*player has joined the other team*

Red1> "god I hate stat padding"
Red2> "same, I just got revived three times in grenade spam"
Red1> "I know right, you're just stuck there, dying over and over again because some asshole keeps reviving and not shooting the enemies"

stat padding by TheGermanWolverine August 14, 2011

paddle the stink canoe

Basically the same as paddling the pink canoe, except this would be an exceptionally stinky one. The aroma may be reminiscent of rotting fish or salami.

Gosh, every time Doris comes back from the rest room, it smells like stink-finger. I think she goes there to paddle the stink canoe a lot.

paddle the stink canoe by Running out of patience February 1, 2008

Paddle Boarding 

When a man tosses another man's salad while stroking 2 guys penis' from side to side in a rowing motion.

Hey, look at those 3 guys paddle boarding...Man the guy in the middle is sure getting a workout....he must be into cross fit.

Paddle Boarding by Skin DIver February 6, 2022

paddict 

Someone addicted to his/her iPad. They crave it, pine for it, and once they get it in their hot little hands, they glue their nose to it and can't put the damn thing down. The 2010 version of a Blackberry crackhead.

Fiona's only 2 years old and already a paddict.

paddict by Annilip June 19, 2010

Up shit creek without a paddle 

(Idiom) To be in an undesirable situation*.

*Elitist would actually enjoy this.

Up shit creek without a paddle by Kung-Fu Jesus May 10, 2004

Yaoi paddle 

A short paddle with the word yaoi writen on both sides. It is meant to hit you on the ass to show how much of a fangirl you are or gay/lesbian at a anime convention. Usually you are asked first, if not you have every right to hunt them done and get them banned form the convention. Usually done by fangirls or fanboys.

One side is the soft core side, which is meant to be used softly. The other side is the hard core side, which is meant to used more roughy.

It was first invented at Ota-kon, a anime convention in 2002-2003. Due to fangirls running around and hitting random people without asking, it has been banned at Ota-kon since then.

Person1 "Soft core or hard core?" *holds Yaoi Paddle up*

Person2 "Whut? Aw hell no. No Yaoi Paddle."

Person1 "Awwww."

Yaoi paddle by TheWinterMoon May 24, 2009