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meat tenderizer 

Slang term describing a police officer's baton. The term is best appreciated when the baton is furiously applied on the head of some stupid bastard who desperately deserves it.
We loved it when the dude who ran over the little kid resisted arrest, because it gave the police a good opportunity to use the meat tenderizer.

Tenderize the Meat 

The act of beating your partner until they have sex with you.
Sarah wasn't in the mood so Tom had to Tenderize the Meat.
Tenderize the Meat by Aram A. February 24, 2008

tallahassee tenderizer 

Taking a meat tenderizer to a flaccid male genitalia in a moment of despair before sex. That way you can Tallahassee tenderize-HER.
"I had to pull the ol' Tallahassee Tenderizer last night, now my dick looks like Seth Rogen."

Pulling a Tenerife 

Performing an ill-advised act.
'I pulled a Tenerife telling my wife she looked fat in those pants'

'Did you hear he went out last night after everything that happened? Yeah, he was pulling a Tenerife.'

'She pulled a Tenerife booking that particular flight.'
Pulling a Tenerife by PapaKoulikov December 27, 2022

Tenderize 

To purposely drain your teammate's health so they will be killed by an opponent more easily.

Most often associated with a team slayer game type in Halo 3.
"Dude, I just got the most epic tenderize on Skarth with this power drain!"

Player 1: "WTF dude, I died so easily."

Player 2: "lol I was tenderizing you"

"lol stop tenderizing me so we can win"
Tenderize by ArdeGT February 23, 2008

Michigan Meat Tenderizer 

A variation on the Alabama Hot Pocket, the Michigan Meat Tenderizer involves taking a dump into an obese woman's vagina much like the Alabama Hot Pocket. She then proceeds to ride the man's penis on top, probably hurting him. Once he cums, she takes it out and squeezes the penis as hard as she can.
Dude, Vida is disgusting, La'Queesha gave him a Michigan Meat Tenderizer last night and he loved it!