internet poisoning 

When you spend so long on the internet that you believe the real world is as messed up and weird as it seems online.

"I feel like shit, I spent all morning on facebook and I definitely got internet poisoning"

"Qanon is a digital soap opera for people with internet poisoning" -@KT_So_It_Goes

internet poisoning by OffColorOtter July 25, 2020

pick your poison 

What you say when someone's supposed to choose between two horrible options.

You could either chop off your toe or you can stab yourself with that piece of broken glass. Pick your poison.

pick your poison by xSOMx May 23, 2010

poison type 

An asshole that has not been cleaned,

A dirty asshole.

- Hey did you just fart.
- Yes.
- You must have a poison type!

poison type by Servine131 January 2, 2020

Poison Plant Therapy 

The latest conspiracy-fueled 'miracle cure' for COVID 19 endorsed by an administration completely detached from the scientific method.

Hey, did you hear that the presidents pillow guy came up with a cure for COVID?
No, but that's absolutely fantastic!
Yeah, it's called Poison Plant Therapy and is made from Oleandrin, a toxic phytochemical.
So, they tested it on people infected with COVID 19 and they got better?
Nope. They just BELIEVE that it works. Kinda like Hydroxychloroquine, remember that one?
Well, it only works if you take it with Demon Sperm...everyone knows that.

Poison Plant Therapy by YAWA August 19, 2020

Poison Gender 

WHAT THE FUCK IS A POISON GENDER

WHAT THE FUCK IS POISON GENDER??!!
*insert confused pic*

Poison Gender by coldass6 October 11, 2020

Alcohol Poisoning 

A serious medical condition which presents itself after a person drinks too much, should not be taken lightly and should instead be taken directly to the emergency room, drunk is different than alcohol posing the way to recognize the difference is one is coherent and the other is not, if someone has alcohol poisoning it is important to make sure they don’t stop breathing and that they don’t choke on their own vomit

Girl: I think he has alcohol poisoning

Boy: He’s just drunk he’ll be fine

*12 hours later*

Girl: He isn’t breathing and he’s cold I fucking told you he had alcohol poisoning don’t just stand there call 911

Alcohol Poisoning by GayCloud June 24, 2018

Tasty poison 

Immature people choose tasty poison over bitter medicine.

Some choose some tasty poison which seems good now good now, but is destructive over the long haul over current distaste for long term good.

Tasty poison by I, Wreckerrr July 14, 2021