TrollingWeek
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TrollingWeek by trollingweek March 1, 2021
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Travelling Shovel Of Death
Some say it thirsts for blood; others say it is an innocent implement forced to do the bidding of murderous fiends. A disturbingly recurrent murder weapon, the Travelling Shovel Of Death appears in multiple different mediums (Usually novels), wherin it is featured murdering an innocent victim.
Henry knew his street well, but he didn't like it. The parameters stretched; the shadows hid secrets; the wind, ever restless, tossed the cloaks of strangers who glared from street corners. But he was sure in his safety. He knew the number of steps to his doorway. He knew where to lift his feet a little higher to avoid tripping on sidewalk cracks hidden in the dark. He knew who to avoid - at least he thought he did, in his naiveté.
A cat was waiting on his doorstep, that night. Dark, soft fur, long legs and a thrumming purr, yellow eyes glinting with reflections of far-off streetlights.
It smiled, sharp, glistening teeth ever white against the shadow of its fur.
In 42 years, Henry had never once seen a cat smile. Perhaps a trick of the light, or an illusion, he thought. Or maybe not. He knelt, looking the cat in the eyes.
It smiled at him, wider.
Wider.
A shadow moved; soft leather brushed against carpet, and a coat loosened its folds. "You're drunk again," said the voice. "Do you know, Henry, how much I dislike drunks?"
The cat hadn't moved; Henry glanced to the side, and caught a glance of soft brown shoes.
"Mr Woon," he slurred. "Ian. Mate. I just..."
He stopped.
Mr Woon smiled at him; a slow, langorious smile, not unlike that of his cat.
Then slowly, deliberately, he rested the shovel's tip on Henry's neck.
"I dislike drunks very much, Henry," he whispered.
Then he put his foot on the travelling shovel of death, and pushed down.
A cat was waiting on his doorstep, that night. Dark, soft fur, long legs and a thrumming purr, yellow eyes glinting with reflections of far-off streetlights.
It smiled, sharp, glistening teeth ever white against the shadow of its fur.
In 42 years, Henry had never once seen a cat smile. Perhaps a trick of the light, or an illusion, he thought. Or maybe not. He knelt, looking the cat in the eyes.
It smiled at him, wider.
Wider.
A shadow moved; soft leather brushed against carpet, and a coat loosened its folds. "You're drunk again," said the voice. "Do you know, Henry, how much I dislike drunks?"
The cat hadn't moved; Henry glanced to the side, and caught a glance of soft brown shoes.
"Mr Woon," he slurred. "Ian. Mate. I just..."
He stopped.
Mr Woon smiled at him; a slow, langorious smile, not unlike that of his cat.
Then slowly, deliberately, he rested the shovel's tip on Henry's neck.
"I dislike drunks very much, Henry," he whispered.
Then he put his foot on the travelling shovel of death, and pushed down.
Travelling Shovel Of Death by WillohWisp September 22, 2011
Related Words
Small Toweling
Masturbating in a hotel room. Named derives from when a man uses the smallest hotel towel available as a ejaculatory relief catch receptacle.
Small Toweling by N1N July 25, 2010
We do a little trolling
When a person announces publicly that they have, in fact, begun to or has been partaking within a small amount, large, or little bit of tomfoolery, pranking, joking, or jokingly participating in something offensive.
We do a little trolling by AbstractDark July 9, 2021
trolling for pharma
Fucking ran out of my Oxys, Xanax AND ADDerall. two weeks early. Looks like I better start Trolling for Pharma
trolling for pharma by Clifhanger April 16, 2017
trelling
trelling: the opposite of trolling. whereas trolling intends to leave a person angry, trelling starts out upsetting the person, with the punchline making them feel better about themselves, and bestowing kindness
Mini Melt: Sims, i just wanted to let you know you're awful
..ly good at everything you do.
Clarence: trelelelele
Super Mario: trelling!
Sims: Hmm, i don't get it...
Super Mario: You're slow
...ly becoming one of my favorite people ;)
..ly good at everything you do.
Clarence: trelelelele
Super Mario: trelling!
Sims: Hmm, i don't get it...
Super Mario: You're slow
...ly becoming one of my favorite people ;)
trelling by Simpregnate December 26, 2011
trolling is a art
"Trolling is a art" is perhaps the definitive statement regarding trolling. If we define trolling as the intentional disruption of another's emotional well being, often through a feigned promotion of an unpopular belief, or political position, the statement is in itself a troll. The deliberate use of "a" where "an" should be is likely to arouse a negative reaction among those concerned with correct english usage. The fact that the statement is itself directly referring to trolling and the art thereof gives further power to its effect; if you're jimmies are rustled by this statement, its author has succeeded, and its veracity has been confirmed.
jimbob: you're balls are lo thus as a small mammal.
fred:You fucking faggot, you meant "your."
jimbob: Trolling is a art.
fred: I think you meant "an." Jesus. English motherfucker, do you speak it?
fred:You fucking faggot, you meant "your."
jimbob: Trolling is a art.
fred: I think you meant "an." Jesus. English motherfucker, do you speak it?
trolling is a art by caucasian absconded with my bi November 21, 2013