Beat the witness 

When a man strokes his penis till "baby batter" comes out.

Man...check out that fine lookin' hottie. Now I'm going to have to beat the witness!!!

Beat the witness by Mayo January 29, 2005

badgering the witness

A lesser-known euphemism for masturbation.

Quentin, would you please stop badgering the witness? We have work to do!

badgering the witness by Max in RI May 30, 2006

badgering the witness

to masturbate, the violent manipulation or aggressive stroking of ones genitals

I couldn't get it up for Mary because I was badgering the witness all afternoon.

Susan caught her brother badgering the witness while watching Full House.

badgering the witness by theanarchist July 21, 2013

Um, Leading the witness your honor 

Is what you say when someone is leading someone else to a conclusion that they wouldn’t have otherwise drawn without your input. They use this all the time in courtroom dramas and I’ve seen some of those which means I’m technically a layer. No big deal or anything...

Hym “He was clearly NOT going to say ‘wisdom.’ He said ‘FREEDOM’ and was not going to say wisdom until YOU said wisdom. So... Um, leading the witness your honor! That’s the second time in those clips that you did it too! You did it to the other guy too!”

Dr. Moses Aaronson “Wouldn’t you say that the conclusion you’re trying to draw is the conclusion I want you draw and that I already have drawn in the past?”

Professor Junior Senior-Esquire the 3rd “Why YES! I was! I was going to say that! And I was in no way lead to that conclusion by you leading me there! I’m not here to be a sycophantic yes man whose sole purpose is to affirm your subjective interpretation of the Bible!”

Hym “Ha! Ridiculous! I just saved everyone reading this the trouble of watching your Exodus lecture. That’s all it is. You aggregating your cronies to affirm your propositional ethic. ‘God is too perfect for anyone to be around so I, Dr. Jeeple Jorpson, need to act as an intermediary for it’s will! You need the structure I provide because you can’t be trusted to make decisions because you are basically an animal to me! Or worse if you’re Hym!”

Um, Leading the witness your honor by Hym Iam November 27, 2022

Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL battle station! 

You are about to get destroyed physically, mentally, and spiritaully. Generally if this phrase is bellowed out it means the bellower is about to engage in a mass slaughter with absolutly no care for their own safety. Expect no quarter given. Although a relitivly rare act, certain social pressures, neurological ihibitors, or defeat in a video game can cause this.

Vavey: Owned you again!

Dave: Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL battle station!

Vavey: ohhhh....crap

*Gore everywhere, house destroyed along with neighboring countries

Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL battle station! by Vavey May 5, 2007

witness the thickness 

Bearing witness to a particularly pleasant ass, which is both fit and capable of strenous activity.

Damn Holmes, witness the thickness!
(As a woman with an attractive rear end walks by.)
Indeed Watson, quite an assadocious young lady...

witness the thickness by emilygoo July 27, 2006

witness the litness 

You're about to experience something amazing! Something spectacular! Something so lit that your mind will be blown and shattered! Witness the Litness is basically when a dude thinks everything is "lit" or cool/badass and wants to show the whole world what he has. It can be a trick, a flip, something like video, something inside his pants or her pants lol Witness the Litness is an experience. Embrace it. Accept it. Cuz remember, everybody is a candle, but not everybody is lit.

"Okay Eber, you're about to witness the litness as i try to do some stupid shit. Lets hope i don't die and that it stays lit."

witness the litness by FerCatchTheseHands February 11, 2017