holy banana muffins 

if your siblings are nearby and you don't want them-ahem-your parents to hear you cuss, i got a perfect solution for you! This is perfect because it's dirty and it's not! What DO YOU meAn? You're siblings won't suspect a THING!and If your parents hear it, they'll suspect a thing, but at least you're not saying 'holy fucking shit bitch' which doesn't even make sense and will probably make your parents think your on something

your dumb clumsy self (comment 'i' if you can relate!): 'holy banana muffins, I stubbed my toe on the side of the desk!'
your siblings: 'yummy! bananas!' (100% guaranteed they'll say this!)

your parents: 'call the mental hospital'

holy banana muffins by totallyrelatableteenagegirl March 25, 2019

oh muffins! 

a word used when things go wrong

Oh muffins! My dog ate my homework!

oh muffins! by firetruck with a mustache April 5, 2010

Sweater Muffins 

Sweat·er Muf·fins
(pl. n.)

1. Slang for breasts that look good from under a sweater, usually of the perky variety.
2. A very silly synonym for a woman's chest.

"Gina, I see you brought sweater muffins! Going to share them with us?"

Sweater Muffins by Scaper-X December 14, 2005

Muffinious

A person who is shaped like or looks like a muffin.

"Mrs Lifeld is quite muffinious!" said Mr Luke and Mr Rizvi.

Muffinious by Ashmit February 13, 2019

Sparkly Muffins 

(v.) Code word for the act of making whoopie, shaking the sheets, fucking, getting it in, smushing, smashing, sexytime, pounding it out, and any other action or name associated with having sex.

Don't come home I am making sparkly muffins with Brice.

It is now safe to come to the dorm room becuase the sparkly muffins have been baked.

I am going to make sparkly muffins with the hottie in my math class all night long!

Sparkly Muffins by Pres of Sparkly Muffin Group September 9, 2011

muffins with sweaters 

fresh, warm muffins which are placed in a cookie jar and immediately forgotten. after two months, they are found and are moldy as shit. therefor, the muffins appear to have sweaters.

"my mom baked these and i left them in my locker. now i have muffins with sweaters.

muffins with sweaters by fadedredwing May 13, 2009

shut your muffins

a polite way to tell someone that their buttcheeks are talking shit.

Larry: My ass hurts from getting rammed by the black guys I hire at the furniture store.

Dave: Shut your muffins!

shut your muffins by slurret May 17, 2010