Microphone Blowdryer

The act in which someone rips cheeks into a microphone so someone on the other end can hear it. It is also used for sexual pleasure as you sniff the microphone with it being so close to your nose already.

Jared - Bro what was that noise
You - Sorry I was just doing a Microphone Blowdryer to myself

Microphone Blowdryer by Dinomax65 October 18, 2025

Polish Microphone 

Pilots on long flights in small aircraft would often install in a small funnel attached to a rubber hose that ran out side. If necessary they would use funnel to relieve themselves during the flight

No need to stop at the next gas station said Bill. I'll just use the Polish Microphone

Polish Microphone by Largo 7 May 29, 2014

Laptop Microphone 

A really fucking bad microphone that sounds like a built in laptop banana.

Horrible Microphone Kid: OMG IM SO GOOD AT THIS GAME GUYS IM BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU!
Studio Microphone Guy: Shut the fuck up and stop using your Laptop Microphone

Laptop Microphone by YoMommaJokesAreOld June 13, 2015

Missouri microphone

When you engage in anal sex with a lover, and go straight to oral sex with another.

Dude, I can't believe she sang into my Missouri microphone last night...

Missouri microphone by Chilebeso October 22, 2015

The Microphone 

An extreme version of The Screwdriver where your hand comes out the mouth

Man dude Patrick really did The Microphone on me I'm so sore

The Microphone by Realskskdude April 28, 2019

Purple microphone

Penis

Giving head is called "singing into the purple microphone"

Purple microphone by Purpmic December 27, 2019

teh microphone

When a person asks you for teh microphone

Joe Mama: Give me teh microphone

Joe Dada: no
Joe Mama: GIVE ME TEH MICROPHONE

teh microphone by Ninja Monke March 16, 2021