Patently unhelpful
tech jargon, of a pretentious and/or unintelligible sort. Language used by a computer nerd who is attempting, unsuccessfully, to communicate with a layperson about computers or technology matters. Often characterized by circumlocution and
jargon. Difficult to impossible to comprehend.
I called customer support after my
laptop went BSOD, but try as I might, I could NOT understand the GOBBLEDYGEEK
coming out of the guy's face
hole.