philosophical shit 

A piece of fecal matter (usually human) that has gained self-conscience. This leads to the shit asking deep questions of philosophical nature, hence the name. When encountering a philosophical shit, most humans believe that the questions raised by the 'sophical sausage' are of their own desing and come from their own head. It is unknown whether the great philosophers of history were assisted by philosophical shits, or came up with their ideas themselves.

"What am I? Where did I come from? I feel water rushing past me. I am falling now and it's dark. Is this what it's like to die? Is this the afterlife? An endless void where we're forced to contemplate our beliefs and morality for all eternity? Truly a hellish experience."
-Unnamed philosophical shit, circa 1978

philosophical shit by Ziraxis August 24, 2016