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functionality 

Officially the douchebaggiest word possible for feature, capability, change, etc.

Used constantly in software development.
Person 1: We think the new functionality will really improve the user experience.
Person 2: *Bitch Slap* You mean you think they'll like the new changes?

This screen saver can't run because it requires functionality that is not available on your hardware-accelerated video card. 

when the screen saver cant run because it requires functionality that is not available on your graphics/video card.
this is usually because your graphics/video card is fucking terrible
Windows: This screen saver can't run because it requires functionality that is not available on your hardware-accelerated video card.
Jimothy: oh no i cant run this screen saver when im away because my video card is from a SNES

Financial functionality 

When you are at a payment terminal, you can either 1. Tap 2. Swipe. 3. Insert.(because we shouldntt say penetrate ) or 4. Hover. depending on if you are using a wifi enabled card, an older debit card, a chip enabled card or a phone or watch using apple pay or similar.
Your total is $250, depending on your financial functionality, please pay here.

Functionally Nude 

Functionally nude subjects are those who are wearing a decent amount of clothing, but their main sexual regions (i.e. the breasts and pussy, and occasionally ass) are left exposed.

The nudity is functional because they are only nude enough to function in during sex
Daryl: You seemed to be ploughing Jessica behind the counter at the bar last night but she was wearing clothes?
Jake: Oh, yeah, She was only Functionally Nude
Functionally Nude by Gzoom August 31, 2017

flunktionality 

the realization that you, yourself, are a flunk....
after trying 1 million times unsuccessfully, Joe finally gave up as flunktionality sank in
flunktionality by mymint87 November 18, 2010

functionally-retarded

Adjective describing a person(s) who has just enough brain cells to survive; devoid of common sense and mental aptitude.
Dave is such a tool. I bet he can't even wipe his own ass. He's functionally-retarded.

People suck. Most of the general public is functionally-retarded.