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Calorious 

adj. Containing calories.
Mmm.. girl that cheesecake is so calorious. your butt will grow two sizes.
Calorious by Barbies March 15, 2011

calerious 

Something that is both calm and mysterious
She is being so calerious today, what do you think she is up to?
calerious by SophieSpecial December 24, 2014

burning calories 

1. I didn't get any sleep, we were burning calories all night.
burning calories by otay May 20, 2005

empty calories 

Foods that only contain calories but no additional nutrients like protein, fiber, vitamins and minerals.
Person 1: Would you like some soda?
Person 2: No, that's just empty calories. I'll have juice instead.

Person 1: Want some candy for dessert?
Person 2: Nah, I'll have a baked sweet potato instead.
empty calories by areallnamestaken December 8, 2010

400 Calories 

Supposedly making out for 20 minutes burns 400 calories.

Actually, 400 Kilocalories, but food companies thought it would be easier to denote those things we burn as calories, so what the hell. Apparently metric prefixes are fucking scary.
Chad: "Hey Lisa want to burn 400 calories?"
Lisa: "Sure Chad, but I'm not taking off my pants...yet."
{ 20 minutes later }
Chad: "Wanna burn 400 more."
Lisa: "Let's go for 2000. Take off your pants."
400 Calories by tron.von.tronicus January 8, 2008

calories 

tiny, microscopic creatures who live in your closet who sew up your close each night to make them smaller. They do this out of jealousy and hatred for the human race for not recognizing them as existent.
Calories: dude, she did not just put her fav jeans in the closet, get my sewing needles.