(mating monkeys)
child: mommy what kind of monkeys are those mommy?
Mother: those are SARM monkeys sweetie
child: what does sarm mean mommy?
Mother: you will learn that when you are older sweetie (recites sexually active rampaging monkeys in the back of her head)

SARM by megfishie December 30, 2007

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SARM

SARMs (selective androgen receptor modulators) are a novel type of drug designed for gym going teenage boys with broccoli hair who have ‘reached their natty limit’ (after 4 weeks of training), to give them liver, lipid and endocrine system problems before they hit 20. these drugs mimic anabolic steroids and can yield up to zero kg of muscle gain when combined with a daily 50 sets of pointless chest and arm fluff, no legs, 10 minutes of tik tok scrolling and a diet that would be insufficient for a 90 year old bedridden pensioner. if the teen is lucky they may end up on proper steroids (TRT) and make some gains, but many give up after a few months or worse, take up crossfit.

I’m on 100mg day Rad-140 bro, it’s a SARM so it’s safe cos the tren twits on YouTube said so.. I reckon I’ll hit 60kg bench on it!

SARM by lopburimonkey July 29, 2025

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Sarm Goblin

A teenager or young adult guy(aged 14-22) who is more of a "normie" who got into lifting through the explosion of its popularity over quarantine and uses peds, often trendy ones. They generally watch youtubers like more plates more dates, greg doucette, chris bumstead, larry wheels, etc, idolizing them. They believe in many bro science and lifting normie ideologies like "lifting+girls alll girls like a guy who lifts" etc.

Many of them are in the mix of trying to be powerbuilders(bodybuilders who powerlift) but can't make any progress(partially due to living a "party animal" lifestyle) and aren't as sucessful as lifters like benjaminmac05 or Malik Triolet, even when many of those lifters are or were natural.

They then take these "big name" drugs that their "influencers"(many of which have been training for 2-5+ years before hopping on peds) promote and try to act like they're better then many natties or "gifted". This often pisses off serious lifters including both oldhead ones and natural more hardcore teenage lifters.

"I love Chris Bumstead but all the sarm goblins worship him and watch 30 greg doucette videos on turkesterone and maingaining bro culture."
"Oh yeah funny how most of them are like mini Bryce Halls, skinny crackhead party guys who cycle fast and will probably die by 30 or 40".

Sarm Goblin by Necrozma Beam January 15, 2022

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