Someone who tries to make everythinginflammatory by encouraging escalation of actions, while pretending to be concerned about de-escalation, resolution, compromise, and intervention, or anything else that makes him/her look like a good person among bad people.
The girl's family knew she had always been an instigator, the kind of person who said fuck you to neighbors and flipped them off by coming in their town like she owned it, with the intervention programs she supported to cover her own actions, or involvement in the questionable actions of others, and make her look like a better/stronger person than she actually was.
The instigator would rather fuck with somebody else's life or talk shit about it than tend to their own (if there was one to tend to, if it wasn't a facade of a life to show everyone).
When a texter sends the first text, usually along the lines of "Hey what's up?? :)", this is known as the initiatory text. Through comparing the average number of initiatory texts sent by two participants to each other, an initiatory text ratio can be determined. The ITR is a clear indicator of who is the more interested of the two. If for every five initiatory texts you send, there is usually one in return, the ITR is 5:1 in the textee's favor, and you're just not in good shape. Ideally a 1:1 ratio is reached, but only in the most compatible of relationships. The ITR is on the same level of dependability as the theory of gravity itself.