Portmanteau of "teleworking" and "jerking". This occurs when you have an office job that requires such little time and effort, that on snowy days when employees telework from home, you can have several jerk-off sessions while technically being paid.
Such jobs are usually only afforded to government employees and sometimes government contractors, since deadlines don't mean anything to their bosses and they will be paid regardless of performance.
Rick: I telejerked yesterday and today. How do you feel knowing that your tax dollars go to pay me for choking my chicken two times before lunch while looking at porn on my work computer? Yeah, and that conference call at 2? I was shitting while I was on the phone. Tomorrow will be my third consecutive day of telejerking due to the chain of command in my office being populated by spineless men who employee only college interns and sassy black ladies that literally contribute nothing to the ability of our government to function.
A Shackteau is a humble, weather-beaten, structurally questionable shelter located in a spectacular or highly coveted place—Wales, Jackson Hole, Sun Valley, Crested Butte, coastal Maine, the Alps—where the building itself may be worth almost nothing, but the dirt, view, access, and mythology make it absurdly valuable.
In use:
Shackteâu - We thought it was an abandoned shed until the realtor called it a rare alpine Shackteâu with unobstructed views and listed it for $2million.