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telejerking

Portmanteau of "teleworking" and "jerking". This occurs when you have an office job that requires such little time and effort, that on snowy days when employees telework from home, you can have several jerk-off sessions while technically being paid.

Such jobs are usually only afforded to government employees and sometimes government contractors, since deadlines don't mean anything to their bosses and they will be paid regardless of performance.
Rick: I telejerked yesterday and today. How do you feel knowing that your tax dollars go to pay me for choking my chicken two times before lunch while looking at porn on my work computer? Yeah, and that conference call at 2? I was shitting while I was on the phone. Tomorrow will be my third consecutive day of telejerking due to the chain of command in my office being populated by spineless men who employee only college interns and sassy black ladies that literally contribute nothing to the ability of our government to function.
telejerking by DHS Employee February 14, 2014
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Tearjerking 

Masturbating while either crying or in a state of agony/depression.
Alec Baldwin was so devastated when his dog died that he began tearjerking violently in his bedroom.
Tearjerking by Carlmalone27 July 23, 2009

teletwerking 

When a person is purportedly teleworking but in actuality is wiggling their butt up and down in a lordotic position to techno music and backing up to whatever they hope will hump them.
I think they may have been teletwerking and so the screen was switched off during the entire online staff meeting..
teletwerking by Dr Bunnygirl February 28, 2021

teleworking 

Working in a virtual organization, commonly referred to as "working from home".
Since the office is 30 miles away, in traffic, I prefer to telework when possible.
teleworking by Seth Eaton April 25, 2005

Tearjerking 

tearjerking: to tearjerk, masturbate whilst crying.
Tearjerking by Backlit Villain October 16, 2008
More from Urban Dictionary
The striver is an interesting phenomenon that is seen across college campuses. In essence, the striver is an over-achiever who comes from a working or middle class family. He may be an immigrant. He may have been a slacker in HS who was "born again" into an academic wunderkind. Or he may just be an over-achiever who is keeping at it.

The striver is willing to sacrifice his social life at the expense of Phi Beta Kappa and Summa Cum Laude. The striver is the guy who stays at the library long after you are gone. The striver is the guy who takes 30 credits/semester and considers anything below an A/4.0 failure. The striver doesn't work on campus, he is too busy finding ways to pad his resume instead of working retail or workstudy. The striver lets his grades pay his education by applying to ten scholarships a year.

The striver is a future Soros/Fullbright/Rhodes/Gates/Marshall/etc. fellow. The striver lives to study. For the striver, their fun comes from the rewards they expect to receive in return for their diligence. Be it Law School, B-School, academia, or politics. The striver seeks to find the American Dream through academic success.
Anthony was a striver. He transfered from a TTT to an IVY and graduated in 2 years. He studied his ass off and went to Penn Law. He got a Biglaw offer. But lost it all because of an unmoderated mesasgeboard.

Successful strivers:
- Barack Obama
- Harold Koh
Striver by URM Striver January 3, 2009
Word of the Day on August 15, 2026

SkyPesos 

Delta SkyMiles, also known as SkyPesos, is the frequent flyer program of Delta Airlines. It has a very poor value and hard to use.
- I'm trying to book an award flight to Paris, but I only have 70,000 SkyPesos
- Just forget about it, you don't have enough SkyPesos to fly anywhere.
SkyPesos by 404_name_not_found December 6, 2018
Word of the Day on August 14, 2026

Quiche Peanemis

Quirky niche peak cinema analysis
It describes the analysis of a media piece which is quirky and niche, yet peak.
Give me the quiche peanemis on the movie I missed.
Quiche Peanemis by Mushroom2241 June 17, 2026
Word of the Day on August 13, 2026

Hate Draft

1. Select a player (real or fantasy) during a sports draft to spite or anger one or more of your opponents because they had intended to select him/her.

2. Select a player (real or fantasy) during a sport draft to put one or more of your opponents at a strategic disadvantage.
1. Billy hate drafted Chad OchoCinco because he knew Sam had wanted him since he is from Cincinnati. Billy already had plenty of players to fill that position but wanted to make sure Sam didn't get him.

2. Billy hate drafted Peyton Manning because he was the only good quarterback left and he knew Sam had been planning on drafting him.
Hate Draft by pffler September 1, 2009
Word of the Day on August 12, 2026
"I can pull James Bond stunts in a jalopy."
jalopy by watson November 20, 2002
Word of the Day on August 11, 2026

Utility beer 

Utility beer is the beer you keep around for the day-to-day moments when beer is a necessity to assist in pedestrian activities (golf, plumbing, yardwork, babysitting, staff meetings, Zoom calls). For the beer snob it is the beer you save for neighbors when they drop in at 3 p.m. on a Tuesday. It is differentiated from the actual high-end beer you save for special events, holidays, and special tastings.
Person 1: Dave, did you bring along those hazy craft IPA's so we could drink while cleaning Lyle's pool?
Person 2: Nope. I just have a bunch of utility beer that Steve dumped on me. Good enough for this. It is only 10:30 a.m.
Utility beer by lakeshore February 1, 2022
Word of the Day on August 10, 2026
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