"Soccer Mom I'd
Like (to) Fuck"
A woman with
soccer-playing offspring with whom one would like to have sexual intercourse. The SMILF'
s natural habitat is the suburbs, though they may be found in urban settings as well. SMILF offspring often have last-name first-names (i.e., Madison, Parker, Walker,
Taylor,
Quinn).
Other common SMILF affiliations include, but are not limited to: Range Rover, Whole Foods, Nelly, things that are manicured (nails, lawns, etc), Rice Krispy treats, Juicy Couture sweatsuits, visors worn non-ironically, waxes, bunko, dry cleaning bills, college degrees, Oprah, Meredith Vierra, elliptical trainers, pets, and patriotic decals.