wouldaben's definitions

perfrexionist

a combination of the words "perfectionist" and "anorexic." Someone, usually male, who cannot imagine being attracted to woman whose lower abdomen is convex or whose body has adipose tissue that disturbs the continuity of her lines.

You can call me shallow, but if sex is the only activity that is not allowed outside a committed relationship, then I'm going to make sexual attraction my first priority in a partner; in my case, that makes me a perfrexionist.

by wouldaben December 19, 2010

dieting bra

A bra (brassiere) which is smaller than the intended wearer's current size and intended to serve as motivation for her diet (course of action to reduce body weight, size, or fat content) or to serve as a marker of when her diet has achieved its intended goal.

The aspiring ballerina purchased a tiny lace bra with a 30 inch bust and AA cups (essentially a training bra) and said to herself, "I will not eat solid food until I fit into this dieting bra. And even then, I will diet to remain slim enough to fit in it." She eagerly anticipated the feeling of the delicate black lace against her shrinking breast-buds, and her hunger temporarily subsided.

by wouldaben December 13, 2010

shit crumbs

Those brown specks on the bathroom floor around the toilet.

Those aren't little pieces of milk chocolate on your bathroom floor. Them is shit crumbs!

by wouldaben January 10, 2011

when the economy picks up

Common beginning or ending to a sentence. It can serve to:

1. provide an excuse for why one has not yet done something.
2. suggest a vague intention of doing something later (similar to how Spanish speakers use the word "mañana.")
3. add minimal credibility to an idea that is a pipe dream.

1. There's no point in looking for a job until the economy picks up.
2. I'll start my business when the economy picks up.
3. Unemployment levels will go back down to the levels they were in the late 1990s when the economy picks up.

by wouldaben January 7, 2011

tech tampon

a covert communication device inserted in the vagina of a secret-agent or sexy spy. The earliest models could only send an out-going message encoded by the secret-agent squeezing her vagina in Morse-code, which was then converted the kegel contractions into radio signals. The advantage of the device was that it was unlikely to be found after a thorough frisking or even a strip-search. In the event it was found, the secret-agent could merely explain that she was having her period (as the device looked like an ordinary tampon with the string serving as the antenna). An improved version of the device was later devised that could receive and convey incoming messages as well as communicating outgoing messages. The incoming message, also in Morse-code, was translated into vibrations that corresponded to the dots and dashes. While effective as a communication device, this newer version suffered from the draw-back that it tended to cause intense orgasms in the secret-agents and, as the tampon could not absorb all the natural orgasmic lubricant due to its being filled with electronic gadgetry, the orgasmic fluid would often carry the tampon-transponder out into the panties of the secret agent, and she would have to improvise a hasty trip to the lady's room to reinsert the device before she could resume communication.

The tech tampon was first used by super-models because spy agencies believed that the thinnest women had the tightest vaginas and would therefore be best able to squeeze the transponders with their vaginas to generate out-going messages. Unfortunately, the super-model secret-agents had sex so frequently, necessitating the removal of the tech tampon, that they were often out of communication, and less attractive secret agents had to be recruited.

by wouldaben December 16, 2010

vulvor

combination of the words "vulva" and "flavor." - the flavor of a vulva.

Her vulvor was rich, salty, and strong. Like a fine wine, it had many nuanced tones which could be distinguished upon repeated samplings. I savor her vulvor!

by wouldaben January 15, 2011

vulvavore

one who receives his entire nutritional intake from a woman's vulva, including her pee, menses, and orgasm fluids.

Hannah was so sexy and her vulva was so delicious that once Ben had sealed his lips around her vulva, he knew he could never take them away for the rest of his life; by necessity he became a vulvavore. Whenever he got hungry, he would lick her to orgasm and drink her rich, salty orgasm fluid. Her periods were also delicious. His becoming a vulvavore made a big difference in both of their careers.

by wouldaben December 16, 2010