wouldaben's definitions

sylph

the epitome of slim, prepubescent, female beauty.

Ballerinas strive for their bodies to be like that of a sylph - thin to the point that they appear lighter than air.

by wouldaben December 16, 2010

panties

a garment of such genius that it firmly covers the vulva without touching the anus thereby collecting a woman's best smells while avoiding her worst. Another genius feature of panties are that their edges end right at the natural crease where the woman's leg bends and slope upwards towards her hip bones thereby visually lengthening her legs and narrowing her pelvic region.

The only thing better than a beautiful woman wearing panties is a beautiful woman wearing nothing at all.

by wouldaben January 6, 2011

vulva-print

the pattern that a vulva makes when pressed against a surface. As each fingerprint is unique, so is each vulva-print.

The police officer was able to identify the suspect at the crime scene (a nude swimming pool for super-models) based solely on her vulva-print. The quick-thinking officer took a picture of the water-mark the suspect's vulva made against a bench at the swimming pool before it dried in the hot sun. After taking the vulva-print of each super-model at the pool using a soft clay mold pressed gently, yet firmly, against her vulva, the suspect (who had a glabrous, well-defined labia-majora and a trim labia-minora with crinkles at the edges reminiscent of orchid's petals) was identified.

by wouldaben December 13, 2010

model-thin

As thin as a model, particularly a runway/catwalk model. Very thin with essentially no visible fat. Abdomen is either flat or concave. Hip bones and the lower edges of the rib cage rise above the valley of the abdomen created between them. Real breasts are not present (or at least prominent) as breasts are filled with fat that has been stripped away by calorie deprivation. Small breast "buds," comparable to those of slim girls in the earliest stages of puberty, may be present. Artificial breasts are often present as they are composed of materials that cannot be digested to support metabolism, and the modeling industry seems to prefer them. Cheeks are concave and cheek-bones are prominent. Thighs are not much, if any, thicker than the calves. When the model stands with her feet together, her thighs do not touch each other and she creates the approximation of a one-dimensional line protruding perpendicular to the plane of the floor.

I understand that in order to be model-thin, women must endure constant hunger, hunger-headaches, coldness, frequent colds/flu, and often abuse drugs such as cocaine and cigarettes. Even when they have little body fat, they use laxatives and enemas to minimize their waists. Some force themselves to vomit food they have unintentionally eaten. None the less, I am ashamed to admit that I am enthralled with the sylphic beauty of women who are model thin. I have tried for two decades to ignore or change this attraction, but I cannot shake it.

by wouldaben December 13, 2010

spoon hips

description of a woman's lower abdomen in which her waist hangs concave below her hip bones and pubic mound (vulva) creating the impression that her lower abdomen is concave like a spoon. The effect is heightened if her hip bones are set wide apart and she has a narrow upper body - like the handle of the spoon.

That model is so thin she has spoon hips.

by wouldaben January 4, 2011

beknighted

adjective used to describe people who speak as though they have royal (i.e. "knighted") authority. Important or authoritative but almost always used in a mocking or sarcastic sense.

Patient to Doctor: "I have been taking the same medications at the same dosages for the last ten years. I am not interested in paying $200 for a slip of paper that says, in your beknighted opinion, that I can continue to take them. That is simply the doctor's monopoly taxing pharmaceutical sales."

It is Sarah Palin's beknighted conclusion that climate change is a fiction. Next she'll be telling us she's an expert in quantum computing.

by wouldaben December 18, 2010

when the economy picks up

Common beginning or ending to a sentence. It can serve to:

1. provide an excuse for why one has not yet done something.
2. suggest a vague intention of doing something later (similar to how Spanish speakers use the word "mañana.")
3. add minimal credibility to an idea that is a pipe dream.

1. There's no point in looking for a job until the economy picks up.
2. I'll start my business when the economy picks up.
3. Unemployment levels will go back down to the levels they were in the late 1990s when the economy picks up.

by wouldaben January 7, 2011