breast buds

breasts that are shallow to the point of almost being invisible - like those of a slim prepubescent or peri-pubescent girl. Breast buds are characterized by their shallowness (closeness to the chest), not by their narrowness. Long, narrow breasts are not breast buds.

Though Donna was in her mid-30s, she had dieted so assiduously that she had the body of a 14 year old ballerina and the barely perceptible breast buds of a prepubescent girl. However, when excited, her nipples became hard like two halves of an unripened plum.

by wouldaben January 06, 2011

vulva-print

the pattern that a vulva makes when pressed against a surface. As each fingerprint is unique, so is each vulva-print.

The police officer was able to identify the suspect at the crime scene (a nude swimming pool for super-models) based solely on her vulva-print. The quick-thinking officer took a picture of the water-mark the suspect's vulva made against a bench at the swimming pool before it dried in the hot sun. After taking the vulva-print of each super-model at the pool using a soft clay mold pressed gently, yet firmly, against her vulva, the suspect (who had a glabrous, well-defined labia-majora and a trim labia-minora with crinkles at the edges reminiscent of orchid's petals) was identified.

by wouldaben December 13, 2010

beknighted

adjective used to describe people who speak as though they have royal (i.e. "knighted") authority. Important or authoritative but almost always used in a mocking or sarcastic sense.

Patient to Doctor: "I have been taking the same medications at the same dosages for the last ten years. I am not interested in paying $200 for a slip of paper that says, in your beknighted opinion, that I can continue to take them. That is simply the doctor's monopoly taxing pharmaceutical sales."

It is Sarah Palin's beknighted conclusion that climate change is a fiction. Next she'll be telling us she's an expert in quantum computing.

by wouldaben December 18, 2010

model-thin

As thin as a model, particularly a runway/catwalk model. Very thin with essentially no visible fat. Abdomen is either flat or concave. Hip bones and the lower edges of the rib cage rise above the valley of the abdomen created between them. Real breasts are not present (or at least prominent) as breasts are filled with fat that has been stripped away by calorie deprivation. Small breast "buds," comparable to those of slim girls in the earliest stages of puberty, may be present. Artificial breasts are often present as they are composed of materials that cannot be digested to support metabolism, and the modeling industry seems to prefer them. Cheeks are concave and cheek-bones are prominent. Thighs are not much, if any, thicker than the calves. When the model stands with her feet together, her thighs do not touch each other and she creates the approximation of a one-dimensional line protruding perpendicular to the plane of the floor.

I understand that in order to be model-thin, women must endure constant hunger, hunger-headaches, coldness, frequent colds/flu, and often abuse drugs such as cocaine and cigarettes. Even when they have little body fat, they use laxatives and enemas to minimize their waists. Some force themselves to vomit food they have unintentionally eaten. None the less, I am ashamed to admit that I am enthralled with the sylphic beauty of women who are model thin. I have tried for two decades to ignore or change this attraction, but I cannot shake it.

by wouldaben December 13, 2010

Panty Bridge

the phenomenon on a thin woman of the waist-band of her panties being suspended between her hip bones without touching her concave lower abdomen. This phenomenon is best achieved when the woman is lying on her back. Panty bridges are considered attractive by many not only because they demonstrate the thinness of the woman but, when viewed from the proper angle, provide a view of the top of the woman's vulva/pubic mound.

That model is showing off how thin she is by lying down, sucking in her already tiny abdomen, and creating a panty bridge so deep that a train could drive under it.

by wouldaben December 16, 2010

dieting panties

Panties which are smaller than the intended wearer's current size and intended to serve as motivation for her diet (course of action to reduce body weight, size, or fat) or to serve as a marker of when her diet has achieved its intended goal.

The aspiring ballerina purchased a pair of size double-zero lace panties with a 20-inch waist and said to herself, "I will not eat solid food until I fit into these dieting panties. And even then, I will diet to remain slim enough to fit in them." She eagerly anticipated the feeling of the delicate lace against her glabrous vulva, and her hunger temporarily subsided.

by wouldaben December 13, 2010

Tampon Telegraph

a covert communication device inserted in the vagina of a secret-agent or sexy spy. The earliest models could only send an out-going message encoded by the secret-agent squeezing her vagina in Morse-code, which was then converted the kegel contractions into radio signals. The advantage of the device was that it was unlikely to be found after a thorough frisking or even a strip-search. In the event it was found, the secret-agent could merely explain that she was having her period (as the device looked like an ordinary tampon with the string serving as the antenna). An improved version of the device was later devised that could receive and convey incoming messages as well as communicating outgoing messages. The incoming message, also in Morse-code, was translated into vibrations that corresponded to the dots and dashes. While effective as a communication device, this newer version suffered from the draw-back that it tended to cause intense orgasms in the secret-agents and, as the tampon could not absorb all the natural orgasmic lubricant due to its being filled with electronic gadgetry, the orgasmic fluid would often carry the tampon-transponder out into the panties of the secret agent, and she would have to improvise a hasty trip to the lady's room to reinsert the device before she could resume communication.

The tampon telegraph was first used by super-models because spy agencies believed that the thinnest women had the tightest vaginas and would therefore be best able to squeeze the transponders with their vaginas to generate out-going messages. Unfortunately, the super-model secret-agents had sex so frequently, necessitating the removal of the tampon telegraph, that they were often out of communication, and less attractive secret agents had to be recruited.

by wouldaben December 16, 2010