beknighted

adjective used to describe people who speak as though they have royal (i.e. "knighted") authority. Important or authoritative but almost always used in a mocking or sarcastic sense.
Patient to Doctor: "I have been taking the same medications at the same dosages for the last ten years. I am not interested in paying $200 for a slip of paper that says, in your beknighted opinion, that I can continue to take them. That is simply the doctor's monopoly taxing pharmaceutical sales."

It is Sarah Palin's beknighted conclusion that climate change is a fiction. Next she'll be telling us she's an expert in quantum computing.
by wouldaben December 17, 2010
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Tampon Telegraph

a covert communication device inserted in the vagina of a secret-agent or sexy spy. The earliest models could only send an out-going message encoded by the secret-agent squeezing her vagina in Morse-code, which was then converted the kegel contractions into radio signals. The advantage of the device was that it was unlikely to be found after a thorough frisking or even a strip-search. In the event it was found, the secret-agent could merely explain that she was having her period (as the device looked like an ordinary tampon with the string serving as the antenna). An improved version of the device was later devised that could receive and convey incoming messages as well as communicating outgoing messages. The incoming message, also in Morse-code, was translated into vibrations that corresponded to the dots and dashes. While effective as a communication device, this newer version suffered from the draw-back that it tended to cause intense orgasms in the secret-agents and, as the tampon could not absorb all the natural orgasmic lubricant due to its being filled with electronic gadgetry, the orgasmic fluid would often carry the tampon-transponder out into the panties of the secret agent, and she would have to improvise a hasty trip to the lady's room to reinsert the device before she could resume communication.
The tampon telegraph was first used by super-models because spy agencies believed that the thinnest women had the tightest vaginas and would therefore be best able to squeeze the transponders with their vaginas to generate out-going messages. Unfortunately, the super-model secret-agents had sex so frequently, necessitating the removal of the tampon telegraph, that they were often out of communication, and less attractive secret agents had to be recruited.
by wouldaben December 15, 2010
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diet sex

Sex with a woman who is trying to reduce her weight, size, or fatness and which is performed for the purpose of replacing her hunger with sexual ecstasy, or to create an inextricable psychological association between the two.
When she felt like she could no longer restrain herself from eating, she would have diet sex with her boyfriend until she orgasmed and her hunger subsided. She would only let her boyfriend have sex with her when she had exceeded her weight-loss goals. She had developed such a strong psychological association between dieting and sex that she would have an orgasm when she was hungry, or when her weight or measurements decreased.
by wouldaben December 18, 2010
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dieting bra

A bra (brassiere) which is smaller than the intended wearer's current size and intended to serve as motivation for her diet (course of action to reduce body weight, size, or fat content) or to serve as a marker of when her diet has achieved its intended goal.
The aspiring ballerina purchased a tiny lace bra with a 30 inch bust and AA cups (essentially a training bra) and said to herself, "I will not eat solid food until I fit into this dieting bra. And even then, I will diet to remain slim enough to fit in it." She eagerly anticipated the feeling of the delicate black lace against her shrinking breast-buds, and her hunger temporarily subsided.
by wouldaben December 12, 2010
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Hotel California Girl

one who has a lot of pretty, pretty boys that she calls "friends."
Lisa is a Hotel California Girl; she has a lot of pretty, pretty boys she calls "friends."
by wouldaben December 17, 2010
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panties

a garment of such genius that it firmly covers the vulva without touching the anus thereby collecting a woman's best smells while avoiding her worst. Another genius feature of panties are that their edges end right at the natural crease where the woman's leg bends and slope upwards towards her hip bones thereby visually lengthening her legs and narrowing her pelvic region.
The only thing better than a beautiful woman wearing panties is a beautiful woman wearing nothing at all.
by wouldaben January 06, 2011
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pussivore

one who receives his entire nutritional intake from a woman's vulva, including her pee, menses, and orgasm fluids.
Hannah was so sexy and her vulva was so delicious that once Ben had sealed his lips around her vulva, he knew he could never take them away for the rest of his life; by necessity he became a pussivore. Whenever he got hungry, he would lick her to orgasm and drink her rich, salty orgasm fluid. Her periods were also delicious. His becoming a pussivore made a big difference in both of their careers.
by wouldaben December 18, 2010
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