wouldaben's definitions

sylph

the epitome of slim, prepubescent, female beauty.

Ballerinas strive for their bodies to be like that of a sylph - thin to the point that they appear lighter than air.

by wouldaben December 16, 2010

panties

a garment of such genius that it firmly covers the vulva without touching the anus thereby collecting a woman's best smells while avoiding her worst. Another genius feature of panties are that their edges end right at the natural crease where the woman's leg bends and slope upwards towards her hip bones thereby visually lengthening her legs and narrowing her pelvic region.

The only thing better than a beautiful woman wearing panties is a beautiful woman wearing nothing at all.

by wouldaben January 6, 2011

model thin

As thin as a model, particularly a runway/catwalk model. Very thin with essentially no visible fat. Abdomen is either flat or, preferably, concave. Hip bones and the lower edges of the rib cage rise as peaks above the valley of the abdomen created between them. Real breasts are not present as real breasts are filled with fat that was long ago stripped away by diet and exercise. Artificial breasts are sometimes present as they are composed of materials that cannot be digested to support basal metabolism. Cheeks are hollow and cheek-bones are prominent. Thighs are not much, if any, thicker than the calves. When the model stands, she creates the approximation of a one-dimensional line protruding perpendicular to the plane of the floor on which she stands.

I understand that in order to be as thin as they are, models must endure constant hunger, hunger headaches, coldness, frequent colds/flu, and often abuse drugs such as cocaine and cigarettes. Even when they have no body fat, they use laxatives and enemas to minimize their waists through fecal removal. None the less, I am ashamed to admit that I am enthralled with the sylphic beauty of women who are model thin. I have tried for two decades to ignore or change this attraction, but I cannot shake it.

by wouldaben December 13, 2010

diet sex

Sex with a woman who is trying to reduce her weight, size, or fatness and which is performed for the purpose of replacing her hunger with sexual ecstasy, or to create an inextricable psychological association between the two.

When she felt like she could no longer restrain herself from eating, she would have diet sex with her boyfriend until she orgasmed and her hunger subsided. She would only let her boyfriend have sex with her when she had exceeded her weight-loss goals. She had developed such a strong psychological association between dieting and sex that she would have an orgasm when she was hungry, or when her weight or measurements decreased.

by wouldaben December 19, 2010

dieting bra

A bra (brassiere) which is smaller than the intended wearer's current size and intended to serve as motivation for her diet (course of action to reduce body weight, size, or fat content) or to serve as a marker of when her diet has achieved its intended goal.

The aspiring ballerina purchased a tiny lace bra with a 30 inch bust and AA cups (essentially a training bra) and said to herself, "I will not eat solid food until I fit into this dieting bra. And even then, I will diet to remain slim enough to fit in it." She eagerly anticipated the feeling of the delicate black lace against her shrinking breast-buds, and her hunger temporarily subsided.

by wouldaben December 13, 2010

three-fingered booger

a legal case that a lawyer cannot bring to an end or otherwise get rid of despite great effort and expense. Such a case usually loses the attorney money, harms his/her reputation, and has little social value.

First my opposing counsel would not be reasonable, then my client would not be reasonable and now, after we have finally reached an agreement, the judge refuses to accept or reject our proposal. This case is a three-fingered booger!

by wouldaben December 18, 2010

Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining.

Don't hurt me and then pretend like you had nothing to do with it.

You argued, privately, to each member of the committee that I should be fired and now you come by on my last day to tell me how sorry you are about what "happened." Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining.

by wouldaben January 15, 2011