wouldaben's definitions

spoon hips

description of a woman's lower abdomen in which her waist hangs concave below her hip bones and pubic mound (vulva) creating the impression that her lower abdomen is concave like a spoon. The effect is heightened if her hip bones are set wide apart and she has a narrow upper body - like the handle of the spoon.

That model is so thin she has spoon hips.

by wouldaben January 4, 2011

breast buds

breasts that are shallow to the point of almost being invisible - like those of a slim prepubescent or peri-pubescent girl. Breast buds are characterized by their shallowness (closeness to the chest), not by their narrowness. Long, narrow breasts are not breast buds.

Though Donna was in her mid-30s, she had dieted so assiduously that she had the body of a 14 year old ballerina and the barely perceptible breast buds of a prepubescent girl. However, when excited, her nipples became hard like two halves of an unripened plum.

by wouldaben January 6, 2011

diet girl

a young woman or girl who views the constant pursuit of thinness as an inherent and integral aspect of being female. Diet girls constantly restrict their calorie intake, talk about their efforts to be thinner, and praise others who have lost weight, and they tend to giggle when talking about their own efforts at weight-loss. Their world-view is that thinner is always better, and they don't think about much else. Unlike the stereotypical anorexic, diet girls are not self-loathing; they are not capable of the introspective ability necessary for self-loathing. Their outlook is superficially cheery and shallow. Diet girls are always thin but they always want to be thinner. Fat girls who constantly talk about dieting and weight-loss are merely imitators hoping that their talk will make others mistake them for thin girls.

I knew Stephanie was a diet girl from the moment I met her. The first thing I heard her say was, "I ordered the egg-white omelet because it had no carbs or fat, but I could barely finish half of it. Tee-hee-hee. Slimette lost weight recently and she looks great. I'm trying to lose 10 pounds." Stephanie was model-thin already and gorgeous because of it, but she was an absolute bore when it came to conversation.

by wouldaben January 6, 2011

when the economy picks up

Common beginning or ending to a sentence. It can serve to:

1. provide an excuse for why one has not yet done something.
2. suggest a vague intention of doing something later (similar to how Spanish speakers use the word "mañana.")
3. add minimal credibility to an idea that is a pipe dream.

1. There's no point in looking for a job until the economy picks up.
2. I'll start my business when the economy picks up.
3. Unemployment levels will go back down to the levels they were in the late 1990s when the economy picks up.

by wouldaben January 7, 2011

shit crumbs

Those brown specks on the bathroom floor around the toilet.

Those aren't little pieces of milk chocolate on your bathroom floor. Them is shit crumbs!

by wouldaben January 10, 2011

diet party

a meeting of women held for the purpose of helping and inspiring each other to lose weight and become thinner. The members of a dieting party are usually slim to begin with and strive to be thinner only to increase their already considerable sexiness.

It was the perfect diet party. They rented the women's gymnasium and locker room for a week. They wore only bras and panties to heighten their awareness of the fat they wanted to lose. They would record their weight, waist, bust, hip, and thigh measurements at least three times per day and record them in a log book. Girls who were losing weight and getting smaller would giggle and congratulate each other and console those who were not losing weight and size as fast as they wanted to. They spent their days drinking water and exercising until they passed out and were revived by their fellow dieters. There were an abundance of scales, mirrors, and tape-measures for self contemplation and measurement. The girls gave each other cunnilingus to relieve their hunger with sexual ecstasy and create an inextricable psychological link between hunger and sexual ecstasy. By the end of the week they were feeling so sexy, slim, and ebullient at the collective weight and size they had lost that they stripped off their bras and panties in joy to better show off their hip bones, tiny breasts, and slim vulvas. Cunnilingus became constant, and the floors became slippery with their wonderful vaginal juices. By the end, they all agreed that it was the best diet party ever.

by wouldaben January 6, 2011

Tampon Telegraph

a covert communication device inserted in the vagina of a secret-agent or sexy spy. The earliest models could only send an out-going message encoded by the secret-agent squeezing her vagina in Morse-code, which was then converted the kegel contractions into radio signals. The advantage of the device was that it was unlikely to be found after a thorough frisking or even a strip-search. In the event it was found, the secret-agent could merely explain that she was having her period (as the device looked like an ordinary tampon with the string serving as the antenna). An improved version of the device was later devised that could receive and convey incoming messages as well as communicating outgoing messages. The incoming message, also in Morse-code, was translated into vibrations that corresponded to the dots and dashes. While effective as a communication device, this newer version suffered from the draw-back that it tended to cause intense orgasms in the secret-agents and, as the tampon could not absorb all the natural orgasmic lubricant due to its being filled with electronic gadgetry, the orgasmic fluid would often carry the tampon-transponder out into the panties of the secret agent, and she would have to improvise a hasty trip to the lady's room to reinsert the device before she could resume communication.

The tampon telegraph was first used by super-models because spy agencies believed that the thinnest women had the tightest vaginas and would therefore be best able to squeeze the transponders with their vaginas to generate out-going messages. Unfortunately, the super-model secret-agents had sex so frequently, necessitating the removal of the tampon telegraph, that they were often out of communication, and less attractive secret agents had to be recruited.

by wouldaben December 16, 2010