a covert communication device inserted in the vagina of a secret-agent or sexy spy. The earliest models could only send an out-going message encoded by the secret-agent squeezing her vagina in Morse-code, which was then converted the kegel contractions into radio signals. The advantage of the device was that it was unlikely to be found after a thorough frisking or even a strip-search. In the event it was found, the secret-agent could merely explain that she was having her period (as the device looked like an ordinary tampon with the string serving as the antenna). An improved version of the device was later devised that could receive and convey incoming messages as well as communicating outgoing messages. The incoming message, also in Morse-code, was translated into vibrations that corresponded to the dots and dashes. While effective as a communication device, this newer version suffered from the draw-back that it tended to cause intense orgasms in the secret-agents and, as the tampon could not absorb all the natural orgasmic lubricant due to its being filled with electronic gadgetry, the orgasmic fluid would often carry the tampon-transponder out into the panties of the secret agent, and she would have to improvise a hasty trip to the lady's room to reinsert the device before she could resume communication.
The tampon telegraph was first used by super-models because spy agencies believed that the thinnest women had the tightest vaginas and would therefore be best able to squeeze the transponders with their vaginas to generate out-going messages. Unfortunately, the super-model secret-agents had sex so frequently, necessitating the removal of the tampon telegraph, that they were often out of communication, and less attractive secret agents had to be recruited.
by wouldaben December 16, 2010
Panties which are smaller than the intended wearer's current size and intended to serve as motivation for her diet (course of action to reduce body weight, size, or fat) or to serve as a marker of when her diet has achieved its intended goal.
The aspiring ballerina purchased a pair of size double-zero lace panties with a 20-inch waist and said to herself, "I will not eat solid food until I fit into these dieting panties. And even then, I will diet to remain slim enough to fit in them." She eagerly anticipated the feeling of the delicate lace against her glabrous vulva, and her hunger temporarily subsided.
by wouldaben December 13, 2010
fear of interacting with an unemployed person for fear that whatever caused him or her to be unemployed will transfer to you. Originally used by John Stewart on the Daily Show.
After I lost my job, all of my "friends" suddenly became too busy to spend time with me. I guess I have unemployment cooties.
by wouldaben January 04, 2011
a pathological disorder in which one is sexually aroused by the idea of a woman trying to reduce her weight, size, or adiposity for purely aesthetic reasons. No sexual arousal occurs if an obese woman attempts to reduce, but if a woman who is already slender expresses a desire to reduce simply to increase her sexual appeal, arousal is triggered. In addition, the motivation for her weight loss must be her enthusiasm at the prospect of becoming even more sexy, not dread or self-hatred.
I only exhibit diet-philia in the abstract; when I deal with actual women in real life, I want them to be healthy, happy, comfortable, and in constant sexual ecstasy. But I still find slim women the most attractive. I just don't want them to have to suffer to be slim.
by wouldaben December 13, 2010
a legal case that a lawyer cannot bring to an end or otherwise get rid of despite great effort and expense. Such a case usually loses the attorney money, harms his/her reputation, and has little social value.
First my opposing counsel would not be reasonable, then my client would not be reasonable and now, after we have finally reached an agreement, the judge refuses to accept or reject our proposal. This case is a three-fingered booger!
by wouldaben December 18, 2010
A bra (brassiere) which is smaller than the intended wearer's current size and intended to serve as motivation for her diet (course of action to reduce body weight, size, or fat content) or to serve as a marker of when her diet has achieved its intended goal.
The aspiring ballerina purchased a tiny lace bra with a 30 inch bust and AA cups (essentially a training bra) and said to herself, "I will not eat solid food until I fit into this dieting bra. And even then, I will diet to remain slim enough to fit in it." She eagerly anticipated the feeling of the delicate black lace against her shrinking breast-buds, and her hunger temporarily subsided.
by wouldaben December 13, 2010
You argued, privately, to each member of the committee that I should be fired and now you come by on my last day to tell me how sorry you are about what "happened." Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining.
by wouldaben January 15, 2011