wouldaben's definitions

Panty Canopy

the phenomenon among thin women of the fronts of their panties not touching their lower abdomens. This phenomenon is best achieved when the woman is lying on her back. The front of the panty is held up and away from her concave lower abdomen by her hip bones and the bulge of her vulva/pubic mound. Panty canopies are considered attractive by many not only because they demonstrate the thinness of the woman but, when viewed from the proper angle, provide a view of the top of the woman's vulva/pubic mound. (See also panty bridge, which is a subset of the panty canopy.)

That model is showing off how thin she is by lying down, sucking in her already tiny abdomen, and creating a panty canopy so deep that a train could drive under it.

by wouldaben December 16, 2010

dieting panties

Panties which are smaller than the intended wearer's current size and intended to serve as motivation for her diet (course of action to reduce body weight, size, or fat) or to serve as a marker of when her diet has achieved its intended goal.

The aspiring ballerina purchased a pair of size double-zero lace panties with a 20-inch waist and said to herself, "I will not eat solid food until I fit into these dieting panties. And even then, I will diet to remain slim enough to fit in them." She eagerly anticipated the feeling of the delicate lace against her glabrous vulva, and her hunger temporarily subsided.

by wouldaben December 13, 2010

three-fingered booger

a legal case that a lawyer cannot bring to an end or otherwise get rid of despite great effort and expense. Such a case usually loses the attorney money, harms his/her reputation, and has little social value.

First my opposing counsel would not be reasonable, then my client would not be reasonable and now, after we have finally reached an agreement, the judge refuses to accept or reject our proposal. This case is a three-fingered booger!

by wouldaben December 18, 2010

diet party

a meeting of women held for the purpose of helping and inspiring each other to lose weight and become thinner. The members of a dieting party are usually slim to begin with and strive to be thinner only to increase their already considerable sexiness.

It was the perfect diet party. They rented the women's gymnasium and locker room for a week. They wore only bras and panties to heighten their awareness of the fat they wanted to lose. They would record their weight, waist, bust, hip, and thigh measurements at least three times per day and record them in a log book. Girls who were losing weight and getting smaller would giggle and congratulate each other and console those who were not losing weight and size as fast as they wanted to. They spent their days drinking water and exercising until they passed out and were revived by their fellow dieters. There were an abundance of scales, mirrors, and tape-measures for self contemplation and measurement. The girls gave each other cunnilingus to relieve their hunger with sexual ecstasy and create an inextricable psychological link between hunger and sexual ecstasy. By the end of the week they were feeling so sexy, slim, and ebullient at the collective weight and size they had lost that they stripped off their bras and panties in joy to better show off their hip bones, tiny breasts, and slim vulvas. Cunnilingus became constant, and the floors became slippery with their wonderful vaginal juices. By the end, they all agreed that it was the best diet party ever.

by wouldaben January 6, 2011

beknighted

adjective used to describe people who speak as though they have royal (i.e. "knighted") authority. Important or authoritative but almost always used in a mocking or sarcastic sense.

Patient to Doctor: "I have been taking the same medications at the same dosages for the last ten years. I am not interested in paying $200 for a slip of paper that says, in your beknighted opinion, that I can continue to take them. That is simply the doctor's monopoly taxing pharmaceutical sales."

It is Sarah Palin's beknighted conclusion that climate change is a fiction. Next she'll be telling us she's an expert in quantum computing.

by wouldaben December 18, 2010

diet shivers

shivers caused by a woman's coldness due to her dieting (restricting her calorie intake to lose weight and/or become thinner). Dieting causes the metabolism to slow and therefore generate less heat, causing the dieter to shiver to keep warm.

Though the night was 80 degrees Fahrenheit, the model had diet shivers because she had been fasting for two days in preparation for a photo-shoot.

by wouldaben January 6, 2011

Unemployment Cooties

fear of interacting with an unemployed person for fear that whatever caused him or her to be unemployed will transfer to you. Originally used by John Stewart on the Daily Show.

After I lost my job, all of my "friends" suddenly became too busy to spend time with me. I guess I have unemployment cooties.

by wouldaben January 4, 2011