Definitions by von groovy

emotional microwave popcorn friend 

This is your friend that you can contact when you are upset who is quick to help support you and be there for you, but ultimately what support they provide does not last and it is not all that healthy anyway. You will lean on this person whenever you can despite knowing they are not really all that helpful.

Gabriel was upset over Lola - AGAIN! He text Lisbeth and soon they were speaking. He poured out his heart. She listened and helped soothe his dispirited soul. Unfortunately, Lisbeth was his emotional microwave popcorn friend. An hour after they spoke he was heartbroken again. He made some microwave popcorn and wept into the bowl watching Baywatch.

emotional microwave popcorn friend by von groovy August 4, 2024

cap-wearing bitch 

What you call a liar who is trying to stir up some trouble

Nancy: "So, I told them that I know more than they do about those things. Don't trust them at all! I know truth!"
Silent G: "Nope! You did no such thing you cap-wearing bitch! Now go fetch me some tea."
Nancy: "Yes, queen. Sweet or Tooth-crackin' sweet?"

cap-wearing bitch by von groovy August 4, 2024

monthly messenger 

Some people call it a period. Nobody calls it a friend.

Angeline was ecstatic when she received her monthly messenger for she would use this to stay home from school and guilt her parents into buying her something that she did not need. Her boyfriend, Angelo, was not pleased as Angeline did not give into oral pleasure our of guilt when her monthly messenger presented. She was in charge!

monthly messenger by von groovy August 4, 2024

normalize shutting the fuck up 

Embrace this concept whenever you want to say something that will make things worse

Seth: "Hey! You know what? I think that your choice of food for this party. - interrupted by Blake"
Blake: "Normalize shutting the fuck up! I love free food and so should everyone."
Seth: "Why am I such a miserable twat?"
Blake: "Keep talking! That makes sense...ha!!!"

normalize shutting the fuck up by von groovy August 3, 2024

capless convictions 

Nothing but bold truth statements

Ernie was not one for bullshitting or wasting anyone's time with being vague about how he felt about things. Ernie only spoke capless convictions and everyone loved him for it

capless convictions by von groovy August 3, 2024

borderwhine 

This is the typing of whine or whining that those with borderline personality disorder do. "Why don't you like me?" "She makes me upset or triggered!" "I am doing all I can and no one cares!" "I quit and then I'm not going anywhere!"

Nurse 1 : "Oh my Lord! Here we go! She just said that no on cares about what she thinks and now she's saying she doesn't need anyone's approval cause she is strong!"
Nurse 2: "Yeah, she can borderwhine all she wants. I'm not taking the bait. I don't validate any of that shit"
Nurse 1: "I get it, but she works here despite meeting criteria as a mental patient. HA! Let's commit her!!!"

borderwhine by von groovy August 2, 2024

girl scout cookie selectivity 

The quality of still being able to manage oneself with something one wishes to indulge in while this one thing is not readily available year round. One does not buy all the girl scout cookies one can. Instead one remains prudent and only buys what one will enjoy and in a timely manner. This can also simply be called self-discipline, but these cookies are a real test.

Despite having the desire to buy many different types and boxes so that she could ravenously devour them to the point of shame. Brenda employed her girl scout cookie selectivity and bought one box of four different types so that she may enjoy two cookies per day for a few months.

girl scout cookie selectivity by von groovy July 31, 2024