trilliam turdsworth's definitions

fartcheese

produced exclusively on remote alaskan islands, fart cheese is one of the rarest foods on the planet. milk is extracted from the breasts of caribou, gently heated over an open flame, then subjected to a barrage of farts offered by the rustic villagers who stand in a circle around the cauldron, relentlessly perfuming the milk. it is believed that the #farticules increase enzymatic activity, resulting in more pronounced flavor and slightly wet texture. the best fartcheeses can be aged upwards of a century. very old fartcheeses may taste of urine, glue and porcini mushrooms, and are said to induce hallucinations and a pleasant tingling in the anus.

dicht racy: what say we open a wheel of '24 fartcheese

jim harbaugh: fuckin yeah!

by trilliam turdsworth June 24, 2024

farttown

farttown is where you go, metaphorically speaking, after loading up on a plate of beefy nachitos and plenty o' barolo. what's great about farttown is that anywhere can be farttown, your bathroom, your classroom, hell even your analysts's office. you know your in farttown when it stinks so bad ya can't breathe and when you leave you're clothes carry the stainch of tourds for days.

a: hey my dude, smells like you been to farttown.
z: why yes i have, jes' comin back from it. how'd you know?
a: you small like a toilet. no i don't.
z: yes you do man.
a: goddamn

by trilliam turdsworth May 18, 2022

stainfart

if a person blows a fat brown wind, and a bit of shit trickles out into the underpence, that's a stainfart, otherwise known as #squirtblast.

ah fuck, i fucking stainfarted
ah cool
ah shit, it's a baddy
ah, too bad, too bad

by trilliam turdsworth February 28, 2023

staint

this is what happens when you fail to properly cleanse the grundle region on a regular basis. your taint gets staint. often it's brown at first but can take on more complex hues of purple and smoked caramel over time. experts say that ancient mesopotamians even cultivated staint patterns by eating diarhettic, richly hued foods. those with the most profound of staints could be smelt from miles away, as far as central europe.

i've been working on my staint. haven't cleansed in over 6 months.
that's a topic of disgustion.
i'm reaching for my goal.

by trilliam turdsworth January 10, 2023

fart bottler

a person so self-absorbed that they bottle their own farts.

i met a girl in tulum who'd been chilling down there for six months already and had fucked like every local dude already. she was dece, but not exactly hot... it was obvious when she started talking about doing some "projects in ithaca" that she was a true fart bottler.

by trilliam turdsworth June 11, 2017

farticule

a tiny particle of turdburger so small it is invisible to the naked eye and so light that it floats on air.. yet potent enough to smell like the open ass from which it emerged. typically brown when viewed under the microscope, its shape resembles the head of hades.

after roger moore farted, the room filled up mercilessly with farticules.

after sean connery quicksilvered in his pants, there was an unmistakable aroma of farticules in the 21 club bathroom.

by trilliam turdsworth December 23, 2018

cannafart

a gaseous emission occurring during or shortly after the consumption of significant quantities of cannabis. true cannafarts have the potential to produce psychedelic effects in those who inhale their fumes. in eastern Ukraine, rural villagers participate in a practice wherein five to ten men gather in a small cedar sauna, eat copious quantities of beans while smoking bongs of hashish, and cannafart themselves into oblivion, colloquially known as the Slavic hotbox.

person one: did you just cannafart?
person two: why do you ask?
person one: suddenly, this room smells like a fresh turd and i'm super high.
person two: as a matter of fact, i did. i cannafarted.
person one: thanks for being honest about it. do you think you have another stored up?
person two: sure do. rips fat stinker
person one: nice. thanks.

by trilliam turdsworth December 31, 2021