as absolute zero is to temperature, absolutestink is to farts. when someone unlooses an absolutestink, everything within a 14 foot diameter is vaporized instantly. those who are in the 14-30 foot range will no longer be able to smell anything for the rest of their lives, except the smell of #openass. for most people, the prospect of a life lived this way is too much to bear, and they off themselves within 1-2 days. in the 30-2000 foot range, most people will have chronic diarrhea or adult onset retardation.
i was heffin cyber sex with my girlfriend jim the other day, and she unleashed a monstrosity which displayed absolutestink. fortunately, she lives in russia so i was physically unaffected, however the sounds of human bodies being mangled in the background will haunt me forever.
by trilliam turdsworth January 18, 2024
When someone blows off a dump and the expulsive force creates a foul shock wave that first travels outward and then bounces off the walls and travels back inward towards the source of the original buttblast. Those who aren’t steady on their feet can be swept up in the ripturd and carried either into the toilet or right up the brownfactory of said ripper.
by trilliam turdsworth January 06, 2023
a lot of people wonder why the verb "rip" is used to describe the activity of excreting a fart out of your ass. this is a fascinating subject. based on a great deal of research, we have concluded that when "ripping a nasty," you are quite lit'rally ripping a hole in the previously fart-less space-time continuum, and injecting a stinker into the emergent vacuum: thus, you are ripping. it was believe this coined by Albert "Airturds" Einstain in 1904 in his magnum o'piss, "An die Physiker des Stinkertons."
thomas pebbles: fucking shit, dude, i fucking ripped so loud last night right at the moment i oh'jizm'd with kara.
daniel day luiz: dude, i have done that, it sucks. so embarrassing, especially if a lil doodoo squirts out.
pebbles: yeah, was so nasty. karen didn't say anything though.
day luiz: my dad usually doesn't either but it's just how it goes.
pebbles: it felt so good though.
daniel day luiz: dude, i have done that, it sucks. so embarrassing, especially if a lil doodoo squirts out.
pebbles: yeah, was so nasty. karen didn't say anything though.
day luiz: my dad usually doesn't either but it's just how it goes.
pebbles: it felt so good though.
by trilliam turdsworth December 19, 2021
i met a girl in tulum who'd been chilling down there for six months already and had fucked like every local dude already. she was dece, but not exactly hot... it was obvious when she started talking about doing some "projects in ithaca" that she was a true fart bottler.
by trilliam turdsworth June 11, 2017
Asssnif is one of very few instances (in the English language) of the letter S appearing three times consecutively in the same word. It was coined by the late, great Johnald G. Stinkefeller, the founder (and for more than eight decades, one of the leading practitioners) of fartography, the study of farts.
Asssnif is something that a fartographer will do when evaluating the stink profile of a given rip. The use of a magnifying glass as well as the Dumplens (an advanced technological device developed by Stinkefeller for this express purpose) can help to identify various #farticles and their origins.
Asssnif is something that a fartographer will do when evaluating the stink profile of a given rip. The use of a magnifying glass as well as the Dumplens (an advanced technological device developed by Stinkefeller for this express purpose) can help to identify various #farticles and their origins.
by trilliam turdsworth June 09, 2022
A Sex act popular in medævel times in which one person sticks a flute up another person’s snake burrow and plays a Celtic folk tune, before abruptly breaking off the flute so that part of it remains lodged up the pebble factory, Then farts triumphantly.
Would that thou wouldst rusty gillespie me.
I wouldst.
Oh hell ya
Just blast me off Charlie
You got it
I wouldst.
Oh hell ya
Just blast me off Charlie
You got it
by trilliam turdsworth March 11, 2022
This is when someone who you really don't expect to fart a lot actually does #fart a ton.
Can also refer to someone who, you wouldn't expect their farts to be bad, but actually they're an abomination to the senses.
Can also refer to someone who, you wouldn't expect their farts to be bad, but actually they're an abomination to the senses.
warold hörstler: bro, you fuck with larry's sister? she got some nicers.
jiminy glick: dudestein she a stinkums magoo.
warold hörstler: whatchu mean, son?
jiminy glick: brozilla one time i was hiding under the sofa trying to catch a glimpse and whatnot, and all a sudden, i'm blastit wif like some da nastiest odeurs i ever face in my life.
warold hörstler: sick!
jiminy glick: smell like someone take a dumpski in a bag a doritos and seal it up and then roast it at 450 degs, namsayin?
warold hörstler: sick!
jiminy glick: dudestein she a stinkums magoo.
warold hörstler: whatchu mean, son?
jiminy glick: brozilla one time i was hiding under the sofa trying to catch a glimpse and whatnot, and all a sudden, i'm blastit wif like some da nastiest odeurs i ever face in my life.
warold hörstler: sick!
jiminy glick: smell like someone take a dumpski in a bag a doritos and seal it up and then roast it at 450 degs, namsayin?
warold hörstler: sick!
by trilliam turdsworth May 02, 2022