trilliam turdsworth's definitions
produced exclusively on remote alaskan islands, fart cheese is one of the rarest foods on the planet. milk is extracted from the breasts of caribou, gently heated over an open flame, then subjected to a barrage of farts offered by the rustic villagers who stand in a circle around the cauldron, relentlessly perfuming the milk. it is believed that the #farticules increase enzymatic activity, resulting in more pronounced flavor and slightly wet texture. the best fartcheeses can be aged upwards of a century. very old fartcheeses may taste of urine, glue and porcini mushrooms, and are said to induce hallucinations and a pleasant tingling in the anus.
by trilliam turdsworth June 24, 2024
Get the fartcheese mug.as absolute zero is to temperature, absolutestink is to farts. when someone unlooses an absolutestink, everything within a 14 foot diameter is vaporized instantly. those who are in the 14-30 foot range will no longer be able to smell anything for the rest of their lives, except the smell of #openass. for most people, the prospect of a life lived this way is too much to bear, and they off themselves within 1-2 days. in the 30-2000 foot range, most people will have chronic diarrhea or adult onset retardation.
i was heffin cyber sex with my girlfriend jim the other day, and she unleashed a monstrosity which displayed absolutestink. fortunately, she lives in russia so i was physically unaffected, however the sounds of human bodies being mangled in the background will haunt me forever.
by trilliam turdsworth January 18, 2024
Get the absolutestink mug.Sometimes used synonymously with #fartographer, a blasticist refers more specifically to a scholar of ancient farts. Among the most decorated blasticists of the late Victorian age was Ismael Afart. In addition to his published works on classical blasting, including his most famous, “Blasting Off in Ancient Persia,” he also left behind several volumes of erotic poetry in Arabic, which celebrated the beauty of the anus.
by trilliam turdsworth December 12, 2023
Get the blasticist mug.pronounced doom-PAHS. when a personage exhales a ripple from his/her/their ass(es), for many hours thereafter a smell may linger. to those with a trained eye, this stench may actually be visible, taking the form of a faint cloud of dump-colored gas, akin to an aura, but for feces.
the term was coined by the Dr. Victor Dichter, best known as the public intellectual who imported the late great Johnald G. Stinkefeller's ideas on #fartography into the german languages, where they were warmly received.
the term was coined by the Dr. Victor Dichter, best known as the public intellectual who imported the late great Johnald G. Stinkefeller's ideas on #fartography into the german languages, where they were warmly received.
mutherfuck, you see the dumpass on that guy?
bro, why aren't you reaching out to me to see if i'm okay after seeing that dumpass?
you don't feel supported?
i'd feel more supported if you blasted one off.
don't say another word.
bro, why aren't you reaching out to me to see if i'm okay after seeing that dumpass?
you don't feel supported?
i'd feel more supported if you blasted one off.
don't say another word.
by trilliam turdsworth October 13, 2023
Get the DUMPASS mug.a ripple is a disturbance to the air resulting from a fart. typically sinusoidal in form, ripples vary in frequency and periodicity in accordance with the velocity and #stinkprofile of a given assblast. on rare occasion, a ripple may double back on itself, taking the form of a parametric curve. in this case, the vibrating farticules may produce intensities of stink that are frankly immeasurable.
while ripples were first described in rudimentary form by maimonides, and subsequently by leonardo davinci, it was not until the late nineteenth century that johnald g. stinkefeller, then seven years old, first documented the shape of a ripple using a device of his own devising known as a #blastmeter. forty years later, his calculations were confirmed by Albrecht A. Anustain.
while ripples were first described in rudimentary form by maimonides, and subsequently by leonardo davinci, it was not until the late nineteenth century that johnald g. stinkefeller, then seven years old, first documented the shape of a ripple using a device of his own devising known as a #blastmeter. forty years later, his calculations were confirmed by Albrecht A. Anustain.
todd: doth you smell-witness a stink in this chambre?
barry: doth i.
todd: where art the blastmeter?
barry: blast it open.
todd: i just shit my drawers. i can feelst the ripple.
barry: doth i.
todd: where art the blastmeter?
barry: blast it open.
todd: i just shit my drawers. i can feelst the ripple.
by trilliam turdsworth August 15, 2023
Get the ripple mug.Anu's Touch, stylized as Anustouch, is a permanently closed South Indian restaurant in Boobston, NJ that served what some consider them most innovative Indian dish of the 20th century: dehydrated miniature starfish in a brown curry glaze, garnished with corn. It is said to have tasted primarily of rancid vegetable oil. Other restaurants have attempted to reproduce the dish over the years, but none have succeeded in replicating the secret sauce—anu's touch. The founder, Jaggerwal Fatwinder, now long dead, claimed to have dreamt up the dish while under anaesthesia during the removal of a fat deposit in his forearm.
by trilliam turdsworth May 8, 2023
Get the Anu's Touch mug.if a person blows a fat brown wind, and a bit of shit trickles out into the underpence, that's a stainfart, otherwise known as #squirtblast.
by trilliam turdsworth February 28, 2023
Get the stainfart mug.