the colonel's definitions

clag

Unidentifiable substance, usually of a secreted, bodily fluid type nature. Australian version of "shmegma".

Dude, I've gotta change my shirt...I just noticed that there's clag all over it.

by The Colonel July 18, 2003

Boxtrap

A gay man's beard.

The belief is that the attraction of beards within the gay community is actually a latent heterosexual attraction to the female genitalia. Hence, the man's mouth become a surrogate vagina...hair and all.

Related words:
"box" - slang for vagina.
"trap" - slang for mouth.

After Bob came out of the closet, the first thing he did was buy a white Miata and grow a boxtrap.

by The Colonel May 19, 2006

rig

To have relations (of a sexual nature) with a woman.

Dude, see that hot blonde chick? I rigged her last night.

by The Colonel July 18, 2003

Crinkle Cones

Saline breast implants. Refers to creases in the saline bags which you can actually see on the surface of a woman's breast. Usually seen when a woman is bending over or in any non-vertical position - you'll see lines or creases running along the sides of the breasts (imagine a zip-lock sandwich baggie filled with water). Typically seen as a sign of a low budget breast augmentation procedure, as well as the inferior nature of saline breast implants when compared to silcone.

Dude, that chick at the beach was pretty hot but she had full on crinkle cones.

by The Colonel November 10, 2005

sponge

A boogie board - a soft, spongey flotation device used to ride waves on one's belly.

Look at all the little kids on sponges out in the water.

by The Colonel July 18, 2003

chuck norris

v. to perform a totally cool and violent action, observable by peers

v. to judiciously kick a man, woman, child, or animal's ass

v. to maintain street credibility;
adj. for street cred

Did you see the way Stewart Chuck Norrised that fucking guy's neck? That's awesome.

Phil Chuck Norrised that cat because it gave him a look and walked across the hall.

Did you see the way Travis slapped that bitch? That's Chuck Norris.

by the colonel March 30, 2005

Flappy Baps

Large, saggy tits. Breasts that flap in the wind.

I used to think Jewel was a hot folk singer with big tits, but after seeing her perform during a NASCAR race, I realized that she's just an Alaskan chick with flappy baps and a snaggletooth.

by The Colonel February 27, 2006