the birds and trees's definitions

having a normal one

Having a public meltdown on the internet, usually on Twitter.

Jonathan K. Businessman, having a normal one, released a string of dozens of tweets today repeatedly denying that he was was a furry, was involved in securities fraud, or was in any addicted to tentacle porn. The tweets, phrased in Elizabethan English, compared the S.E.C. to the Horned King, a character from the Disney movie "The Black Cauldron."

by the birds and trees December 22, 2018

Marvin Gaye weed

Weed that's so strong that, after one hit, you're like "what's goin' on?"

Damn, this shit is some Marvin Gaye weed. Have you ever seen a snow-covered mountain during the sunset on a crystal-clear winter's day, all golden and fiery in the last dying rays of the sun, and noticed how even the shadows glowed with all of the purple and indigo notes of the evening sky?

by the birds and trees January 14, 2009

Marvin Gaye weed

A powerful strain of cannabis. After one hit, users are inclined to say "What's goin' on?"

This is called Trainwreck, and it is classified as Marvin Gaye weed.

by the birds and trees October 18, 2008

load

The amount of semen expelled during one male ejaculation.

So I was having sex with Cassie the other day, she said she wouldn't mind if I blew my load on her face, so I did, and goddamn, I think it was the biggest load I ever dropped! She looked so beautiful with all that hot goo all over her pretty face! I can't wait to do it again!

by the birds and trees July 20, 2008

Castration

Emasculation. Removal of the male sexual organs. Practiced by ancient and barbaric societies where sex was considered highly evil.

Also used in the courts of ancient China to produce eunuchs, castrated male servants who could be trusted to be in close proximity to the Emperor. To be near the Emperor was to be near his harem, so naturally few men were allowed to be in his presence. Eunuchs were considered safe, since they had neither the will nor the ability to "sample the goods" as it were. As a result, eunuchs could gain special leverage with the Emperor, due to their proximity to him, and be appointed to high government offices. Towards the end of the 19th century, some of the most powerful men in the country were eunuchs.

Castration: I'm a take this meat cleaver to yo' nuts, bitch!

by the birds and trees May 19, 2008

Elvis didn't do no drugs

An expression used to call someone on an obvious lie, prevarication or falsehood. A way of calling bullshit. Since it is now known Elvis did mountains of drugs, stating that he had always been clean would be obvious bullshit. Origin: Penn and Teller's show Bullshit, where the phrase is used to call bullshit on the various claims of creationists.

Mike: "Elton John invented rap music."
Bob: "Um, right, Elvis didn't do no drugs!"

by the birds and trees May 18, 2008

condom

It's a rubber sheath that you wear over your penis whenever you have sex. To be used every time, no exceptions. Available at most drug stores and convenience stores, in a variety of sizes. If used right, it will prevent pregnancy. Something everyone would use if humanity were not the terminally retarded species it is.

The Pope doesn't want you to wear condoms. Isn't that rich? An elderly former Nazi who has never had sex wants to tell you how to have sex, and you are going to listen to him? Incredible, our species is doomed.

by the birds and trees March 1, 2008