the birds and trees's definitions

hassel to the hoff

David Hasselhoff's new hip-hop persona. Yes, you read correctly. He thinks he's a rapper now.

Hassel to the Hoff's new single went platinum in Germany.

by the birds and trees February 27, 2007

newage

A euphamism for New Age music, a horrible, hideous genre of aimless, unlistenable drech for washed out, middle-aged ex-hippies and the power crystal clutching disciples of con men who use bits and pieces of various Eastern religions, interspersed with liberal helpings of pure bullshit in order to sell their overpriced, horribly written books (also filled with bullshit) and ugly quartz crystal trinkets. Rhymes with "sewage."

Hey, holmes, get that fucken' newage crap off of my sound system right now! And bury that c.d. once you're through taking it far, far away from anyone with anything resembling taste in music.

by the birds and trees September 17, 2006

snot blaster

A general insult. A word for a generally disagreeable person.

How dare she call me a snot blaster! Why, I'll blast so much snot...

by the birds and trees August 7, 2006

Castration

Emasculation. Removal of the male sexual organs. Practiced by ancient and barbaric societies where sex was considered highly evil.

Also used in the courts of ancient China to produce eunuchs, castrated male servants who could be trusted to be in close proximity to the Emperor. To be near the Emperor was to be near his harem, so naturally few men were allowed to be in his presence. Eunuchs were considered safe, since they had neither the will nor the ability to "sample the goods" as it were. As a result, eunuchs could gain special leverage with the Emperor, due to their proximity to him, and be appointed to high government offices. Towards the end of the 19th century, some of the most powerful men in the country were eunuchs.

Castration: I'm a take this meat cleaver to yo' nuts, bitch!

by the birds and trees May 19, 2008

Northampton

The county seat of Hampshire County in Western Massatchusetts. Northampton is the home of Smith College, one of America's first women's colleges. Perhaps because of the large number of college students persuing liberal arts majors, the city has a fairly free, artistic spirit to it. Politically, Northampton is mostly liberal, with a few leftists, and is one of the most gay-friendly cities in the region. Because of this, and because of the presence of a women's college, the city has gained a reputation as a city overrun with angry lesbians with numerous tattoos and crew cuts. Though there are many LGTB individuals living in Northampton, this rumor is somewhat of an exageration.

Northampton is dominated by a wide array of restaurants, cafes, bars, shops and a few places where they sell insanely expensive jewelery and glassware, obviously catering to the growing trend of gentrification that threatens to eradicate the town's original spirit.

I'll be in Northampton for the rest of the evening, me and Louie are going to Thornes to pick up tickets for the ska show at Pearl Street.

by the birds and trees September 17, 2006

catch a case

To physically assault someone. To attack physically, barehanded or with a dangerous weapon.

Ron gripped the handle of his cane sword, saying "both of y'all better leave this place," as he slowly unsheathed the blade "or I just may have to catch a case!"

by the birds and trees June 21, 2007

feminists

Any person who thinks that women are human beings, equal to men, and opposes the subjugation of women. Any person who believes that women aren't second class citizens, have minds, and should be able to be something other than domestic help or a factory for producing sons. A man can be a feminist. Not all feminists hate men, or are lesbians.

I only date feminists. I like women who consider themselves human beings.

by the birds and trees October 24, 2007