telephony's definitions

beeping

What some people say or write when they mean, "blinking"; e.g., a blinking light.

{Angela}: Craig, what do those two beeping red lights on your wheelchair mean?
{Craig}: Hmmm...I don't hear anything. You must mean the BLINKING red lights. That means that the batteries are at 20%.

by Telephony April 8, 2020

Pecker Rooter

This is a variation of the short song, "Peter Rooter" that appeared on the audio-only album, "Los Cochinos" from 1973.

Hey there swingin' bachelors
Tired of that steady drip
Drip, drip of gonorrhea?
Then Pecker Rooter might be just what you've been waiting for

♪Pecker Rooter, that's the name♪
♪You just flush your troubles♪
♪Down the drain♪
♪Rotten Pecker, rotten pecker, rotten pecker♪

by Telephony September 30, 2014

Faggot Cat

A parody of the song, "Robot Cat" by Logan Whitehurst

On Channel 27 at a quarter to three,

I saw the craziest thing that I ever did see
No cash, no check, no C.O.D.,

so I called them with my credit card, quick as could be
Nobody better get in my way

I got the package in the mail today!
I popped all the bubble wrap and threw it away

Now I'm learning Japanese so I can read what the instructions say

There was a bag of nuts and bolts and screws

It didn't say which screwdriver to use
I don't know what the radiation warning's about,

but hey, that's okay; I can figure it out!
Four legs, rubber bands, sprockets and gears

Laser beam eyes and microphone ears
Put it all together; what did I see?

I saw a faggot cat looking right at me

Well, it slices, it dices, it catches the mices

It's got a stock ticker with the Wall Street prices
Knows how to sew, cook, play the guitar

Say, it even put a new transmission in my car
It's got a titanium cranium, chip in the brainium

Pentium? Best representium
Pour in the eggs, milk, syrup, and flour,

'cause the faggot cat needs pancake power

When I say fag, you say got. Fag, got, fag, got.
When I say got, you say cat. Got, cat, got, cat.
Word to the F to the A to the double-G to the GOT to the C-A-T
So when I say Faggot, you say cat. Faggot, cat, faggot, cat
So when I say Faggot, you say cat. Faggot, cat, faggot, caaaaaaat

by Telephony May 29, 2016

SuperBowel™

Another name for the Super Bowl, the Supertolietbowl, the Commercialbowl, etc. -- the annual championship game between the NFC and AFC.

{Ron} Hey Steve? Happen to know who won the Super Bowl this year?
{Steve} I didn't watch the SuperBowel™; I'm just not into foot-testicle ya know.

by Telephony February 2, 2020

foot-testicle

What some people think of the sport of football (NOT fùtbol) when they couldn't give a rat's patootie about it.

Hey Chuck; guess you ain't gonna watch foot-testicle on telly even though it's Supertolietbowl Sunday. I know that you hate football with a passion; you're probably going to watch golf or some other pussy show.

by Telephony February 2, 2019

hucking fot

A way to say the phrase, "fucking hot" that bypasses the onboard censor in online BBSs, forums (or fora if you want to be an anal-retentive prick about it) and other locations where the use of curse words might be inappropriate.

Jesus Christ, it's hucking fot outside!
Somebody please throw another log on the air conditioner!!!

by Telephony December 28, 2020

bungsnoipe

A slightly nicer way of calling somebody a buttsnoipe (an assclown, asshat, asshole etc,)

That fartknocker is such a bungsnoipe for sneaking fish food flakes into the stroganoff at the buffet the other night.

by Telephony January 5, 2011