telephony's definitions

food crook

In a multiple-cat household a food crook is the cat that goes from bowl-to-bowl eating all of the other cats' food.

Pookie, stop that you food crook!!!

by Telephony November 19, 2014

hamster mouth

What presidential-elect Donald Trump had when he was campaigning.

If you looked at his cocksucker when he was talking, his lips would very frequently become pursed and it looked as though he were a hamster -- or even a fish at times.

Hey Carolyn!ain,trail
Trump is having this TV debate with Hillary -- you've just got to see his hamster mouth, hahaha!!!

by Telephony January 15, 2017

cannoñata

From the now-defunct TV series, "Viva Piñata": The cannoñata (pronounced as though it were spelled, "cannonada") is a fictional device designed to shoot piñatas to piñata parties from its location (Piñata Central aka. Party Central, in very close proximity to the candiosity meter) on picturesque Piñata Island.

{Langston Lickatoad}: Get over here Fergy, time to get your candiosity checked and get you loaded into the cannoñata!

by Telephony October 31, 2014

Sonic Z

The opposite of Sonic X -- that is, Sonic the Hedgehog that moves extremely slowly.

{The Sonic X theme song but with torpedoed lyrics}

♪ Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop ♪
♪ Gotta stop slow, gotta stop slow, ♪
♪ Gotta stop slower, slower, slower, slower, slower ♪
♪ Movin' at speed of dark (make tracks) ♪
♪ Slowest hedgehog it barks ♪
♪ Got ourselves a situation, stuck in a new location, ♪
♪ Without any explanation, no double relaxation! ♪
♪ Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't think, don't stink, ♪
♪ Just stop, stop, stop, stop, s-s-s-s-stop, stop! ♪
♪ Gotta avoid the ♪
♪ Bam Slam Gadget! ♪
♪ Sonic, he's not the hero! ♪
♪ Sonic, he's number zero! ♪
♪ Sonic, he's coming whee!, ♪
♪ So watch out... For Sonic Z! ♪
♪ Gotta stop slow (Sonic!), gotta stop slow (Sonic!), ♪
♪ Gotta stop slower, slower, slower, slower, slower! ♪
♪ Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop! ♪
♪ So... (Sonic) nic... (Sonic) Z, ♪
♪ Gotta stop slow! ♪
♪ Gotta stop slow! ♪
♪ Gotta stop slower, slower, slower, slower, ♪
♪ Sonic Z! ♪ :-)

by Telephony July 8, 2019

creamated

An unfortunate, but all too common misspelling of the word, "cremated" -- which is where they incinerate your dead body and convert it into a few pounds of ashes rather than burying your body in a cemetery.

Al was creamated when he became worm food; I guess you could say he became fish food instead.

by Telephony September 16, 2020

aural douche

What you're receiving when you use a bulb-type ear syringe filled with warm water to flush excess cerumen (earwax) out of your ear(s).

My ears are terribly plugged up. Time to have an aural douche!

by Telephony November 6, 2018

vaccum

A surprisingly common misspelling of the word, "vacuum".

{Seen in the description of a drone video on YouTube}:

While I was flying the drone, I "heard" a jingle for Bob's Discount Furniture but with altered lyrics.
To wit:

♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics ♪
♪ From your åš#Ø£€ to your ṕ€n¡s ♪
♪ Some true douchenoozle vaccumed up light bulbs!!! ♪
{~850ms delay}
♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics! ♪

by Telephony January 10, 2021