Definitions by telephony
a cigarette & multiple highly-reflective glass or metal surfaces
Hey Jake!
Didjya see that magician levitating that car?
It was all just a cigarette & multiple highly-reflective glass or metal surfaces!
Didjya see that magician levitating that car?
It was all just a cigarette & multiple highly-reflective glass or metal surfaces!
a cigarette & multiple highly-reflective glass or metal surfaces by Telephony September 12, 2014
smarttolietmuscle
Ron was such a smarttolietmuscle for suggesting that we close the door when it's this satandamnedd hot outside.
smarttolietmuscle by Telephony September 5, 2014
spider under the table
This phrase means exactly the same as a fly on the wall -- that is, somebody who covertly watches or listens in on something that is not intended for them to see or hear.
From the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode, "Lower Decks":
"How would you like to be a spider under that table?"
"What?"
"A spider under the table."
"Is that like a fly on the wall?"
"I guess so."
"How would you like to be a spider under that table?"
"What?"
"A spider under the table."
"Is that like a fly on the wall?"
"I guess so."
spider under the table by Telephony August 29, 2014
disposable plastic adult toliets
Quite simple really...this is a product like Depends, Attends, etc. -- any product designed to absorb micturition (piss), defecation (shit) and sometimes even menstrual discharge.
They're called, "disposable plastic adult toliets because they have but one purpose: an adult pisses, shits, and occasionally has her period (or he cums in one) when using them, they're made chiefly out plastic, and you hold your nose when you're gingerly carrying the fucking yucky, wet, heavy dripping bloody thing to the lidded wastepaperbasket or diaper pale for disposal.
They're called, "disposable plastic adult toliets because they have but one purpose: an adult pisses, shits, and occasionally has her period (or he cums in one) when using them, they're made chiefly out plastic, and you hold your nose when you're gingerly carrying the fucking yucky, wet, heavy dripping bloody thing to the lidded wastepaperbasket or diaper pale for disposal.
Hey Linda, do you know where you moved the disposable plastic adult toliets to? I think I just cummed mine and I really need to change it!
disposable plastic adult toliets by Telephony August 28, 2014
pak
An extremely common misspelling of the word, "pack".
This misspelling is even made by large corporations who ought to know better.
This misspelling is even made by large corporations who ought to know better.
{Brad}: Hey Kestra, I just zipped open this week's Val Pak coupons and found coupons for 65% off Wrigley's Plen-T-Pak gum and 57% off those Freez Paks!
{Kestra}: Great Brad, let me stuff those fuckers in my purse and run to the store straight away!!!
{Kestra}: Great Brad, let me stuff those fuckers in my purse and run to the store straight away!!!
Mega City
A totally fictitious, phoney-bologna fake made-up city name featured in the Anthrax song, "I Am the Law".
And you won't fuck around no more - I AM THE LAW!
I judge the rich, I judge the poor - I AM THE LAW!
Commit a crime I'll lock the door - I AM THE LAW!
Because in Mega City ...
I AM THE LAW!!!
I judge the rich, I judge the poor - I AM THE LAW!
Commit a crime I'll lock the door - I AM THE LAW!
Because in Mega City ...
I AM THE LAW!!!
TVA Light Bulb Destructor
A device which was invented by a 7th grader, but never made it into production.
This is a product in which a hydraulic piston affair slowly comes down onto light bulbs burning base-down in receptacles at the bottom of the machine; it's sole purpose is to destroy light bulbs while they're burning.
This is a product in which a hydraulic piston affair slowly comes down onto light bulbs burning base-down in receptacles at the bottom of the machine; it's sole purpose is to destroy light bulbs while they're burning.
{From a website about phoney-bologna staged 'battles' -- usually amongst commercial & infomercial spokespeople, spokesanimals, and spokesthings}:
"Robbins then goes on the rampage...he finds what's left of that case of poor, defenseless, helpless light bulbs, carries it to the bathroom, and viciously throws each remaining bulb into the toliet -- being certain that each one impacts the bowl above the waterline to assure bulb breakage and simultaneously rather loudly shouting, "BREAKING LIGHT BELBS!!!" as each lamp implodes against the inside of the water closet with that loud "POP" and the distinctive tinkling of broken glass. After every sixth bulb, Robbins pulls down on that chrome plated lever at the top left front corner of the cistern, causing the busted bulbs in there to whirl down the shitbowl! Once the case is empty, he carries it out to the dipsty dumpster at the back of the Receiving Home, lifts the lid, and nonchalantly tosses it in.
Johnson thinks about building "The TVA Light Bulb Destructor" (something he drew up in the 7th grade, where a hydraulic piston affair slowly comes down onto light bulbs burning base-down at the bottom of the machine), but realises two fairly significant issues with building the asinine thing right away.
1: It would cost money to build -- a fairly large amount of it too.
2: The time necessary to construct such an evil device is more than the time Johnson wants to stay in this decade.
So that idea rather quickly goes to pot. "
"Robbins then goes on the rampage...he finds what's left of that case of poor, defenseless, helpless light bulbs, carries it to the bathroom, and viciously throws each remaining bulb into the toliet -- being certain that each one impacts the bowl above the waterline to assure bulb breakage and simultaneously rather loudly shouting, "BREAKING LIGHT BELBS!!!" as each lamp implodes against the inside of the water closet with that loud "POP" and the distinctive tinkling of broken glass. After every sixth bulb, Robbins pulls down on that chrome plated lever at the top left front corner of the cistern, causing the busted bulbs in there to whirl down the shitbowl! Once the case is empty, he carries it out to the dipsty dumpster at the back of the Receiving Home, lifts the lid, and nonchalantly tosses it in.
Johnson thinks about building "The TVA Light Bulb Destructor" (something he drew up in the 7th grade, where a hydraulic piston affair slowly comes down onto light bulbs burning base-down at the bottom of the machine), but realises two fairly significant issues with building the asinine thing right away.
1: It would cost money to build -- a fairly large amount of it too.
2: The time necessary to construct such an evil device is more than the time Johnson wants to stay in this decade.
So that idea rather quickly goes to pot. "
TVA Light Bulb Destructor by Telephony August 27, 2014