Tequarantine

When you go on a self imposed quarantine with several bottles of tequila

Me: Where’s Jane? She hasn’t been at work all week.
Her: She got a virus in Mexico and is at home on a Tequarantine

by stuartc1 March 13, 2020

pretrumpian

The age before Donald Trump when the earth had a habitable environment and a free press

Me: What is a polar ice cap?
Him: In Pretrumpian times, before the EPA was abolished we had frozen areas on the north and south poles which helped cool the planet

by stuartc1 February 18, 2017

predisastered

When something bad is going to happen and everyone knows it but the probable victims are unwilling to do anything about it.

Will: I went to Dad’s house today, he’s going to break his neck going down those stairs to his office.

Frank: Why doesn’t he move his office upstairs?
Stuart: Too late, it’s predisastered.

by stuartc1 November 30, 2020

Trumponoscopy

When Donald Trump sticks his head up his own ass to come up with a new Executive Order

Me: We're banning people from Muslim countries? Why?
Him: The President just preformed a Trumponoscopy on himself

by stuartc1 January 31, 2017

serandipians

When serendipity meets pretentious travelers

I was going to go to a Singita Lodge in South Africa but the serandipians convinced me that Namibia was far more pretentious.

by stuartc1 October 07, 2021

Covella

DJs streaming concerts during COVID lockdown on Facebook

Her: Wanna get a Zoom conference going with everyone from work?
Him: No, I’m watching Covella on FB

by stuartc1 April 20, 2020

Cohendeal

When you break the law for your boss and you think he’ll protect you but instead he fucks you like a goat.

Donnie: I see Alan Weiselberg got arrested, think Trump will save him?
Eric: Yeah, right, he’s getting a Cohendeal

by stuartc1 July 01, 2021