stephen w. thomas's definitions

Tree Fairy

The Tree Fairy, also known as the Winter Fairy, brings on the season of winter. The Tree Fairy flys around the world at night, over several weeks late in the year, injecting trees with a special poison. This poison, 'Trisphinxius X' causes, over a short amount of time, the falling off of the tree's leaves. The Tree Fairy works late in the year only, a she takes trips to Bermuda every summer. Legend has it that once upon a time a Norwegian Pine saved the Tree Fairy's life, and as a payment, she has never injected an 'evergreen' since. Hallelujah.

'I am the tree fairy, and I bring you cold, ugly trees!'

by Stephen W. Thomas May 15, 2005

The Fast Show

Ha. Hahah. Hahahah. Heee hee ha ha ha!

'Ha. Hahah. Hahahah. Heee hee ha ha ha!'

by Stephen W. Thomas November 10, 2004

Hedin

Sven Anders Hedin (1865-1952) was one of the great Swedish explorers. He was not the greatest, but was certainly one of them. Hedin was born in Stockholm and educated in both Sweden and Germany. Before he was 21 he started on his first exploration, of his back garden. He then travelled through Mesopotamia, part of which is now known as Iraq. Fascinating. In 1893 he began a 4 year journey across central Asia, looking for the lesser spotted Asian Zebra a friend had told him about. After four years his friend admitted he had lied. During a journey across the Pamir-La-Anderson Mountains his party found several ancient cities, called 'New York', 'Boston' and 'Disneyworld'. From 1927-35 he was in charge of the joint Chinese-Swedish expedition. They found China, but lost Sweden in the act. Which was a shame. I like Sweden. They invented Abba.

Person 1: 'Oh look! I found Jehol: City of Emperors by Sven Anders Hedin!'
Person 2: 'Well, he's an okay Swedish bloke, but I prefer Gustaf Dalen, who revolutionised lighthouse equipment and invented the Aga cooker.'

by Stephen W. Thomas November 7, 2004

saving the world

A harmless way for girls to describe monthly cycles without making guy friends feel awkward.

'Why are you so squinky Jennifer?'
'Sorry, I'm saving the world at the moment.'

by Stephen W. Thomas July 12, 2005

turd monkey

1) A phrase which is used to express disgust towards a person. Not to be mistaken with monkey turd. A turd monkey is generally someone who annoys or disgusts you, but can be used on anyone who generally pisses you off.
2) A statue of a monkey made out of a turd.

1) "You complete and utter turd monkey."
2) "That's a good turd monkey there, Stan."

by Stephen W. Thomas October 12, 2004

Comboine Harrrvestorr

a farming implement. Very satisfying to pronounce when said with a Somerset or farmer accent.

"I've got a brand new comboine harrrvestorr."
"Will you give me the key?"
"No."

by Stephen W. Thomas November 10, 2004

don't hate

A phrase used by hillbillies on American talk shows like Ricki Lake. It literally translates from hillbillie to 'I admit I'm not as smart/sexy/sure about my gender as you, but please, try not to draw attention to it.'

Ricki Lake: Now we have Mary-Ellen-Susie, who says that it's okay to take her daughter partying, because her daughter is too fat to get laid!"
(Mary-Ellen-Susie wobbles out, and the crowd boo.)
Mary-Ellen-Susie: DON'T HATE, DON'T HATE!

by Stephen W. Thomas October 13, 2004