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Definitions by sheila in the car

Irish math

leprechaun-like ability to calculate to a number which best suits your needs.
Seamus relied on Irish math to:

a.)provide the correct number of drinks he had to the officer.

b.)advise his mother his first born did indeed arrive 9 months after the wedding

scholarship 

getting something,anything for nothing....
Knowing the bartender as well as he did meant Paul was on full scholarship for his drinks for the night

where the monkey put the whistle 

curious term used by Irish father to frighten Irish son from engaging in bad behavior of any sort...
As in...You do that again and I'll put my foot right "where the monkey put the whistle"......

adult skittle 

pharmaceutically generated pill, the purpose of which is to take"the edge off" a grown up anxiety-laden event such as:

1.)colonoscopy
2.)IRS audit
3.)inlaw visit
4.)Kenny G concert
You cannot get me on a plane until I have taken my adult skittle.

cobe disease 

meaning "Coming Out Both Ends"
non medical term for the symptoms which arise from engaging in the excesses of mexican fare and tequila...
Just after stumbling out of "Tacos R Us" Paul came down with a mucho case of "cobe disease"

shovel ready 

Apt description of being prepared to release when necessary a big ol' whopper of an excuse for offending behavior of any sort
After Paul was dumped naked on his parent's lawn and left for dead, he arose secure in the knowledge he was "shovel ready" to explain everything . ..

homeboozed

Having a parent or parents who would rather you and your friends drink under their roof than outside the home where they can't supervise you or join in....
By the time he arrived at college Paul already had two years of being homeboozed.
homeboozed by sheila in the car March 31, 2009