by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
A pump consisting of a screw within a cylinder. When the screw is turned, water is moved from one end to the other.
-- or --
When Archimedes has sex with his wife.
-- or --
When you yell 'eureka' upon ejaculating.
-- or --
An ancient invention that can be used in the vagina to evacuate excess menses.
-- or --
When Archimedes has sex with his wife.
-- or --
When you yell 'eureka' upon ejaculating.
-- or --
An ancient invention that can be used in the vagina to evacuate excess menses.
by scorpionmintred November 19, 2004
1. When a man is a fiend for having sex whilst the woman is on the rag, but cannot find himself a menstruating woman, he secretly squirts ketchup into the woman's vaginal canal before sex.
2. When a man's girlfriend is not on the pill, and he wants to cum inside her when she isn't actually on the rag. He secretly squirts ketchup inside her vaginal canal whilst she sleeps so she wakes up thinking she has her period.
2. When a man's girlfriend is not on the pill, and he wants to cum inside her when she isn't actually on the rag. He secretly squirts ketchup inside her vaginal canal whilst she sleeps so she wakes up thinking she has her period.
Woman: "My entire reproductive tract is ruined from poor man's menses".
- or -
Woman: "I don't know how I keep getting pregnant while I'm on the rag!"
Man: "Maybe it's all the poor man's menses I've been squirting inside you?"
- or -
Abortionist: "What the hell is that??"
Woman: "Poor man's menses and a week-old fetus?"
- or -
OBGYN: "What the hell is that?"
Woman: "I don't know, but it goes great with french fries!"
- or -
OBGYN: "Damn, this goes well with french fries!"
- or -
Woman: "I don't know how I keep getting pregnant while I'm on the rag!"
Man: "Maybe it's all the poor man's menses I've been squirting inside you?"
- or -
Abortionist: "What the hell is that??"
Woman: "Poor man's menses and a week-old fetus?"
- or -
OBGYN: "What the hell is that?"
Woman: "I don't know, but it goes great with french fries!"
- or -
OBGYN: "Damn, this goes well with french fries!"
by scorpionmintred December 28, 2003
General term for all of the parts of a woman related to the storage and dispersal of eggs, including the ovaries, uterus, and vagina.
Woman: "Ow! That bitch just kicked me right in the Easter Basket!"
- or -
Art Critic: "Damn, Picasso, I've never before seen a square Easter Basket".
- or -
OBGYN: "I haven't seen an Easter Basket this messed up since my mom got the egg dye mixed up with the pancake batter".
- or -
ER Doctor: (Removing fragments of chicken-egg shells from inside a woman's vagina) "You really aren't clear on the concept, are you?"
- or -
Art Critic: "Damn, Picasso, I've never before seen a square Easter Basket".
- or -
OBGYN: "I haven't seen an Easter Basket this messed up since my mom got the egg dye mixed up with the pancake batter".
- or -
ER Doctor: (Removing fragments of chicken-egg shells from inside a woman's vagina) "You really aren't clear on the concept, are you?"
by scorpionmintred February 17, 2010
A pornographic sub-genre similar to cake farts wherein a person blows their nose into the open anus of another person. While the method of sexual gratification is unclear, it provides great humor to those involved.
"The asskerchief is an inefficient way to clear one's nasal passages."
- or -
Man: "I asked my wife if I could asskerchief her, like I saw on the internet."
Friend: "What did she say?"
Man: "She laughed at me and filed for divorce."
Friend: "That seems excessive."
Man: "Well I'm also a terrible husband."
- or -
Man: "I searched for asskerchief and then promptly decided to go back to normal porn."
Friend: "Normal?"
Man: "Well... MORE normal."
- or -
Man: "I asked my wife if I could asskerchief her, like I saw on the internet."
Friend: "What did she say?"
Man: "She laughed at me and filed for divorce."
Friend: "That seems excessive."
Man: "Well I'm also a terrible husband."
- or -
Man: "I searched for asskerchief and then promptly decided to go back to normal porn."
Friend: "Normal?"
Man: "Well... MORE normal."
by scorpionmintred March 13, 2019
1. Angry cow. (Possibly see your mom).
2. BSE; Rots the brains of cows and jerks who eat cow brains. (Possibly see Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Or was that monkey brains? Whatever, it's feking weird anyway).
3. Giant lesbian who thinks she's hot. When you yank on her quadruple D breasts, she does not notice it because they're dragging on the floor already. But for some reason, skinny hot lesbians find her attractive, but she is mad because men still exist, and her vagina cannot be found by said skinny hot lesbian. If you are a man, she will not appreciate you existing.
2. BSE; Rots the brains of cows and jerks who eat cow brains. (Possibly see Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Or was that monkey brains? Whatever, it's feking weird anyway).
3. Giant lesbian who thinks she's hot. When you yank on her quadruple D breasts, she does not notice it because they're dragging on the floor already. But for some reason, skinny hot lesbians find her attractive, but she is mad because men still exist, and her vagina cannot be found by said skinny hot lesbian. If you are a man, she will not appreciate you existing.
Your mom might be mad cow type one, but she can't be mad cow type two unless your dad had sex with a straight woman who carried you to term. Unless you are a girl, then your mom may be touching you when you're asleep, on the boobies, perhaps.
by scorpionmintred December 30, 2003
1. A tax-exempt corporation with the facade of a "bona-fide" religion created by L. Ron Hubbard as a way to make money when his "better-than-psychology" clinics failed to do so in the 1950s.
2. The act of engaging in sexual intercourse with a piece of scientific equipment, such as a microscope.
3. A sexual act whereby a man reads a science textbook to a woman who then becomes bored. When she inevitably falls asleep, the man hits her over the head with the textbook, yelling "science!" He then takes off her top and studies her breasts whilst masturbating. Upon completion, he jisms into the open textbook, smears his essence all over the open pages, and sticks the textbook to the woman's face. He may then, at his option, invite people over to "study" with her, thereby causing her severe embarrassment when she comes to.
2. The act of engaging in sexual intercourse with a piece of scientific equipment, such as a microscope.
3. A sexual act whereby a man reads a science textbook to a woman who then becomes bored. When she inevitably falls asleep, the man hits her over the head with the textbook, yelling "science!" He then takes off her top and studies her breasts whilst masturbating. Upon completion, he jisms into the open textbook, smears his essence all over the open pages, and sticks the textbook to the woman's face. He may then, at his option, invite people over to "study" with her, thereby causing her severe embarrassment when she comes to.
1. Scientology Auditor: "Hey, you, man walking down the street that appears to have better things to do! Yes, you! Would you like to be audited such that we can eventually remove your Thetans after charging you thousands of dollars for brainwashing?"
Man: "No."
2. Woman: "Oh yeah baby, adjust that coarse focus knob!"
3. Girl's Roommate: "Damn, were you up all night studying again?"
Girl: (Just coming to) "Ugh, what time is it?"
Girl's Roommate: "What, I can't hear you with that textbook on your face. And why does my microscope smell?"
Girl: (Rips the book off, but the inner pages stick to her face) "I have no idea, but I must have been sitting down too long because my ass hurts".
Man: "No."
2. Woman: "Oh yeah baby, adjust that coarse focus knob!"
3. Girl's Roommate: "Damn, were you up all night studying again?"
Girl: (Just coming to) "Ugh, what time is it?"
Girl's Roommate: "What, I can't hear you with that textbook on your face. And why does my microscope smell?"
Girl: (Rips the book off, but the inner pages stick to her face) "I have no idea, but I must have been sitting down too long because my ass hurts".
by scorpionmintred February 17, 2010