scodder's definitions

messturbation

Messturbation means whacking off and not cleaning up.

Frodo: What's that gunk all over the bathroom walls?

Enrico: Carlos engaged in messturbation and took off.

Frodo: What a pig!

by scodder October 14, 2012

choadminster fuller

Choadminster Fuller was the genius inventor of several choad-related items, including the Geodesic Choad and the Choadmaxion car.

Snowdon: I can't believe Choadminster Fuller never invented a condom for choads.

Exminster: I know, they keep breaking on me too!

by scodder October 9, 2012

bastur mate

A bastur mate is some to share whacking it with.

Eduardo: I feel like having an afternoon wank. Would you like to be my bastur mate?

Ricardo: Sure! I'll bring my porn DVDs.

by scodder September 29, 2012

sperm teddy

A sperm teddy is a crusty old teddy bear used to wipe up the results of whacking off.

Darnell: Hey, I can't find my sperm teddy!

Franconi: Sorry, I just used it. It's a little gooey.

by scodder September 29, 2012

duck jizz

When a boy duck and a girl duck are in love they have special kind of hug where the boy duck pumps the girl duck full of hot, stanky duck jizz.

Gustav: This sandwich tastes like duck jizz!

Olav: I'm going to have to go have a talk with "Donald" and twist his beak.

It's obvious he's been ducking off onto the sandwich bread again.

Gustav: Thanks, old bean!

by scodder September 28, 2012

shartasm

A shartasm is an orgasm accompanied by a shart.

"What's that awful stench?" asked Tony, pausing mid stroke.

"I just had a shartasm," said Suzy, grinning weakly.

by scodder August 14, 2010

whack a dog

Whack a dog means jacking off a dog.

Strangely enough this can be a profession.

After coffee break at the AI clinic, Camilla sighed, put on her gloves, and went off to whack a dog.

by scodder August 8, 2010