sciflyer.25's definitions

The Destitutioner

Executioner of the destitute. The Destitutioner can be your hired gun for an array of homeless people problems, from those that simply beg for change to the windshield washer type that use filthy newspaper to "earn" that pay. Manner of bum death is the employer's choice, and the destitutioner will either urinate or defecate - or both - on the departed at no extra charge!

Mr. Morgan: God dammit, I am sick and tired of that corner derelict always nagging me for my hard-earned money. I wish there was a way to permanently rid him from society.
Mr. Morgan's co-worker: Hire the Destitutioner. Trust me, you will never be hassled for another dime by that waste of life again.

by sciflyer.25 February 4, 2013

Clownology

Study of clowns, a term used by adult men that are compensated minimum wage to look like Ronald McDonald at social gatherings to cover up pedophilia and justify the waste their life has become.

I'm studying Clownology. I love kids and the kids will love me. I can make them smile, teach them how to make balloon animals and have them practice on my penis.

by sciflyer.25 August 19, 2014

Rug rod

Similar to a fishing rod, an instrument used to snag and retrieve an obvious toupee that looks horrendous.

Vinny: Check out that middle-aged fool hitting on the brunette. With a hairpiece like that, he has no shot at banging her.
Carl: Yeah, I'll get the rug rod out of the trunk and expose this assclown's dome!

by sciflyer.25 February 21, 2013

snuffalump

Combination of the words snuffaluffagus and heffalump used to describe an individual who lacks common sense, is obese and extremely lazy, slowly moving only when the senses of sight or smell have detected a hint of food.

What is that beast Stefanie doing near a McDonald's drive-thru? Why isn't she in the barn with the rest of the livestock?
That fat-ass snuffalump must be tired of grazing in the pasture with the rest of the herd. Only a grease factory like Micky-D's could have attracted it.

by sciflyer.25 September 16, 2010

Piñata Immigration Reform

Phrase used to describe immigration reform that provides an equal opportunity for any illegal with a clean record to win their American citizenship. One convicted felon is removed from the prison system, and with feet and hands bound, strung up at the town square. A small group of illegal immigrants are provided a set of golf clubs to choose from, are blindfolded and the fun begins.
Illegals wielding a wood or driver are given 2 swings, while iron club users get 1 swing before moving to the next participant. The wetback that delivers the deathblow is granted American citizenship. The general public is encouraged to gather round and enjoy the festivities.

Juan: I can’t wait for my chance to become an American. I’ve been practice swinging down at the range all week!
Carlos: Yes señor Juan, I too have dreamed of this day of Piñata Immigration Reform! Town square is decorated nicely and will be quite the fiesta today!

by sciflyer.25 April 18, 2013

Amedicon

How an uneducated Italian pronounces "American". These fools can be found at the Jersey shore and pizzerias everywhere.

Customer: "Hey guido, you call this baked dog shit pizza?"
Giuseppe: "Vat-TEEN-eh stunod Amedicon!"
Customer: "Learn the language or get out of the country, fucking greasy wop."

by sciflyer.25 February 3, 2013

beast patch

An isolated patch of hair found anywhere on the body. Most common areas include the hands, back, chest, and pubic area on an unkept person.

Check out the beast patches on Jim's hands. Those make him look like a werewolf.
Check out the beast patch on that broad's vagina. I'll bet that smells like godzilla's breath. Bitch needs a shave!

by sciflyer.25 September 15, 2010