Saddam-I-am

Jesse Ventura's greatest enemy.

Saddam-I-am, Saddam-I-am,
I do not like Saddam-I-am!

Would you like him with Iran?

I would not like him with Iran.
I would not like him with Islam.
I would not like him spreading terror.
I would not like him anywhere-r!
I do not like Saddam-I-am!
I do not like that man, Saddam!

Would you like him with inspectors?
Would you like him with defectors?
Would you like him with no chemicals,
Which means no wartime epidemic-als?

Not with inspectors, not with defectors!
Not with Islam, not with Iran.
I do not like Saddam-I-am!
I want regime change for that man!

Arms! What if he had no arms?
Would you still make him buy the farms?
Nukes! Without them, would you let him?
Or would you send troops in to get him?

I do not want him with an arsenal.
I would not, could not! This is personal!
I do not like his oil-gained cash.
I do not like his black mustache.
I do not like Saddam-I-am!
I must disarm him. That's my plan.

You do not trust him,
So you say.
Inspect him, inspect him,
And you may.
Inspect him and you may, I say.

I will find bombs
You will see.
I may find them in a tree.
For I will look inside each stone,
And I will look beneath his throne.
And I will look in rolled-up socks,
And barber schools, and closed-down mosques.
And up the hill, and in the rain,
And in the dark, and on a train.
I will find them here and there-r,
He'll be our win in the war on terror!

I do so like
To bash this man.
Thank you,
Damn you,
Saddam-I-am!

by rustyshackleford January 04, 2008

Phone Booth

A movie about what Jack Bauer did in between the 4th and 5th seasons of '24'.

Bill Buchanan did not authorize Jack Bauer to trap Colin Farrell in the Phone Booth.

by rustyshackleford January 03, 2008

Uga duga

The loud clacking sound your impact driver makes as you drive your fastener down tight

You better only give that 1/4" bolt two uga dugas or you'll break that bitch off

by RustyShackleford May 13, 2020

Secretary of Offense

Position that would replace Secretary of Defense were Jesse Ventura to be President.

Jesse Ventura: I'm not going to have no wimpy Secretary of Defense. *I'm* going to have a Secretary of Offense, in the Department of Kicking Butt.

by rustyshackleford January 04, 2008

Elmo

A puppet on Sesame Street who spends all his time eating shit sandwiches.

First, Elmo watches the sandwich being made. Now he is eating the sandwich. And now he is shitting out the sandwich.

by rustyshackleford January 03, 2008

tuggah'

Russel Crowe's best friend who always follows him around to watch him get into fights

Tuggah' shot himself when he couldn't get away from Russel Crowe singing.

by rustyshackleford January 04, 2008

wikipedia rule of google

Anytime you google anything one of the first 10 hits will always be the wikipedia article about it.

I typed 'google' into google and the 3rd hit was the article on google at wikipedia, thus demonstrating the wikipedia rule of google.

by rustyshackleford November 02, 2007