rastablowtorch's definitions

Shaq Fu

Possibly the greatest game of all time. Many have tried to emulate the awesomeness of Shaq Fu, but have come up short every time. It is a fighting game, and as the name suggests, it stars Shaq, the center on the team of righteousness. His task is to go into another dimension, save some kid he doesn't even know, and beat the hell out of anyone who stands in his way. Awesome game. To get the full Shaqtastic experience when playing this game, I would suggest playing some of Shaq's rap songs at the same time, as well as having a Miami Heat, or old Lakers or Magic game on every other tv in the house.

Man 1: Do you Shaq Fu?
Man 2: Why, no, my good sir, I do not.
Man 1: I see, then away with you, you unworthy heathen!

by Rastablowtorch September 17, 2005

Jason X

A terrible movie. Here's a rundown of the story:

Jason is frozen in an ice chamber thing.
Centuries later, he is thawed out, and goes around killing dumbasses from the future.
Somehow, Jason becomes mechanically enhanced, therefore he can now kill people while looking even more like an idiot.
Jason dies in a duel with a stereotypical black guy while being blown up in an exploding ship.

Never see this movie.

Some movies are so bad, they're hilarious, such as Doom or AvP. Jason X is not one of these movies.

by Rastablowtorch November 3, 2005

Jar of Flies

Arguably the best Alice in Chains album/EP ever put out. It has more of an acoustic vibe to it than any of their full length albums.

Jerry Cantrell's awesome on Jar of Flies. Just listen to Whale and Wasp and you'll see.

by Rastablowtorch October 1, 2005

zelda rap

The Zelda rap is in the very first Legend of Zelda commercial from the 80's. It features two stupid kids who can't act. One of them pulls out his Nintendo Newsletter and shows the other some screenshots of the 'new' Zelda game. All of a sudden one of them pull out what might be a bootleg copy of the game, and puts it into his NES. For some unknown reason, the two start an inpromptu rap song, which goes as follows:

"It's The Legend of Zelda and it's really rad!
Those creatures from Ganon are pretty bad!
Octoroks, tektites and leevers too,
But with your help, our hero pulls through!
Yeah, Go Link, Yeah, Get Zelda!
Wikki Wikki Wick!"

The commercial then cuts to the announcer, who says that your parents need to help you hook up the NES.

When I saw this commercial and heard the Zelda rap, I was both horrified and amused at the same time.

by Rastablowtorch September 17, 2005

force commander

A fun Star Wars RTS game. Although it's a little hard to load on older computers, and it is a purely military themed game, Force Commander is awesome. Take control of either the Empire or the Alliance, and try to conquer your enemies. Unfortunately, Force Commander wasn't recieved well by gamers, and a new Star Wars RTS was released to please those people. The new game used the Age of Empires engine and was called Galactic Battlegrounds. GB was pretty fun, but I don't think it stands up to its predeccesor.

My army of AT-STs and AT-PTs raped the little Rebel soldiers.

by Rastablowtorch September 17, 2005

mike and ike

The best candy ever made.

Bill started choking on one of his Mike and Ikes, so I stole the box of them out of his hand and ran off.

by Rastablowtorch September 21, 2005

South Park

1. An overrated cartoon about four kids who do stupid stuff and make fun of each other. The older South Park episodes are really funny, mainly because they weren't so much about social issues as they were about the main characters acting dumb for the hell of it. Nowadays South Park relies too much on current events to be funny. It also seems too preachy. Like the Simpsons, the newer South Park episodes lack certain qualities that made the old ones great. Cartman's still pretty funny though.

2. A part of Colorado. South Park's not the name of a town, but rather a large portion of Southern Colorado or something.

1. "Hello Children!"
"Hey Chef"

2. South Park's a pretty boring place to visit.

by Rastablowtorch September 17, 2005