q359's definitions
One of the world's oldest games, chess is classified as a board game, but is more like a mental sport, and is actually a massive example of the Dunning-Kruger effect. No matter how good you are at the game, you still suck, even the greatest players know they suck, and if you think you are good, you most DEFINITELY suck. All chess tournaments are competitions of who sucks least, everybody sucks to some degree, unless your name is Magnus Carlsen, and even he sucks next to a computer. It is believed (though not proven) that a perfectly-played game of chess will always end in a draw, and when someone wins, it is always because the other person fucked up.
Most people, due to pop-cultural osmosis, know the basic rules of chess, but know nothing about how to actually play the game. This frequently results in people who have a modicum of skill thinking they are "good at chess" because they've only ever played "regular" people, then when they try playing against actual chess players, they're in for a rude awakening.
If you get into chess as an adult, you will discover that 8-year-olds regularly whup your ass forwards, backwards, and sideways at the game every single time, but at least you can go home knowing that you have had sex, and they have not (though, this is also questionable if you are a chess player).
Despite the growing popularity of chess since COVID, and recent attempts to reach out to women, any given night at a chess club is almost guaranteed to be a sausage party.
Most people, due to pop-cultural osmosis, know the basic rules of chess, but know nothing about how to actually play the game. This frequently results in people who have a modicum of skill thinking they are "good at chess" because they've only ever played "regular" people, then when they try playing against actual chess players, they're in for a rude awakening.
If you get into chess as an adult, you will discover that 8-year-olds regularly whup your ass forwards, backwards, and sideways at the game every single time, but at least you can go home knowing that you have had sex, and they have not (though, this is also questionable if you are a chess player).
Despite the growing popularity of chess since COVID, and recent attempts to reach out to women, any given night at a chess club is almost guaranteed to be a sausage party.
I play chess because I hate myself.
by q359 July 24, 2023
Get the chess mug.The lesser cousin of a fart, a neart is to a fart as near is to far. A fart that didn't go far. Nearly a fart.
by q359 July 25, 2023
Get the neart mug.A dude who is usually the world's #4 or #5 chess player based on whatever the current standings are, and also, a major fucking dick with anger issues.
Hikaru Nakamura is so good at chess that he'll beat you playing the Bongcloud, and then punch you in the face.
by q359 July 25, 2023
Get the Hikaru Nakamura mug.An annoyingly religious person. Does NOT just mean anyone who is religious/believes in God, but minds their own business and is a decent person. God-botherers are people who do not shut the fuck up about their religion, whine about profanity and sexuality in everyday culture like it's 1950, worry too much about what other people are doing, think the reason for teen pregnancy is that we don't have enough prayer in schools, and try to get their religion written into law, and binding even upon non-believers, because they don't understand the concepts of separation of church and state, and a pluralistic society.
"God-botherer" is actually a GREAT insult, because it implies that even assuming that their God is real, they even bother God with their bullshit, God Him/Her/Them/Itself is even like "You guys need to chill out".
"God-botherer" is actually a GREAT insult, because it implies that even assuming that their God is real, they even bother God with their bullshit, God Him/Her/Them/Itself is even like "You guys need to chill out".
I said "God damn it" in a Facebook comment and some God-botherers came at me telling me that I was wicked and going to Hell for using blasphemous language, so I told them that Mary was a slut who loved taking it in the ass, just to watch them have a REAL meltdown.
by q359 July 25, 2023
Get the God-botherer mug.When a woman's shaven pussy is built in such a way that looking at her straight-on from the front and standing, you don't see any hint of lips, slit, or clit at all, making it look like she just has no genitals, just a completely blank crotch, like a living Barbie doll. Common on curvier/chubbier women.
by q359 July 24, 2023
Get the barbie crotch mug.Besides the more common definition, a simp is also a specific type of pussy, usually a shaven one (but doesn't technically have to be), that from the outside, in its unspread state, just looks like a simple vertical slit, with no inner lippage or clit showing, like a sideways Homer Simpson mouth.
by q359 July 24, 2023
Get the simp mug.More specific than just an asshole, douchebag, dickhead, etc., a shitbird is someone who is extremely selfish, entitled, and narcissistic, and does ONLY what is most convenient for THEM, with absolutely no regard for how it makes other people's lives worse and fucks up the social order. They believe that ALL rules, laws, and social conventions are inherently oppressive, and rebel against all authority simply for the sake of rebelling against authority, even when said authority is 100% reasonable. The shitbird's life philosophy is "My enjoyment above all", and frequently say "You're not the boss of me/You can't tell me what to do!". They do things like drive recklessly, cut in lines, throw trash wherever they want, and whatever else they feel like, with no guilt whatsoever. They think "freedom" means "complete anarchy". Other words for shitbird are "libertine" and "sociopath". Like pigeons who shit all over a statue, the shitbird just likes to shit all over everything, and leave other, decent people to clean up their messes.
People who didn't follow mask and vaccine mandates during the COVID pandemic, because their own personal comfort took priority over not killing people in their vicinity with a deadly virus, are shitbirds.
by q359 July 24, 2023
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