pollup's definitions
I submitted an entry to turban dictionary and those assholes didn't accept it. Probably because it wasn't about turbans. Assholes.
by Pollup January 4, 2008
Get the turban dictionary mug.by Pollup December 25, 2007
Get the Unwrap the soap mug.When you wanna bang some slut and can't find a condom. So you run up the stairs to the living room and ask your grandma to knit you some protection. She doesn't know what the hell you're talking about, so you run out to the garage and dump all the potatoes out of the burlap sack that your Grandpa keeps out there.
You grab some scissors and cut out a funnel-shaped piece and rush back down to the basement where the slut is already waiting for you.
You wrap the Burlap Sack piece around your Johnson and start moving towards her.
She freaks out and wakes up your whole household. The next weekend you're moving into your own apartment and figuring out how to get a job.
You grab some scissors and cut out a funnel-shaped piece and rush back down to the basement where the slut is already waiting for you.
You wrap the Burlap Sack piece around your Johnson and start moving towards her.
She freaks out and wakes up your whole household. The next weekend you're moving into your own apartment and figuring out how to get a job.
Conversation Held in the basement:
You: "Alright baby, I got a condom. Let's get busy!"
Her: "Lando, how about little fucking romance you piece of shit? Ain't you never been laid before?
You: "Yeah, but you're really hot and...
Her: "Wait wait wait! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"
You: "Nothing. Alright, you want some roman-"
Her: "Seriously, what the fuck is that thing? Let's see that shit. What the fuck? What is that wrapped around your dick?
You: "Nothing."
Her: "Bullshit."
You: "ok, it's a condom."
Her: "It is not, what is it?"
You: "Fine, it's a piece of burlap sack condom - listen, it's the best I could-
Her: "You crazy nigger. Do you really think that you're gonna stick that fucking potatoey-smelling, nigga-brand nappy head motha-fucking shit storm in my fucking snatch? THAT'S IT LANDO! YOU TAKE YOUR STARWARS CLOUD CITY MOTHER FUCKING SELF AND GET THE FUCK OFF ME. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Grandma: "Chile? Wha-whas go'n on down thah? Is you trying to fuck one of them sluts down there again? Charlie? Get yo' good fo' nothing self down heah' and see what yo' lazy-assed grandson is trying to do to the ho down in our house"
Grandpa: "That's it, Lando. I've had enough of this. First you're running around snortin' cocaine and hittin the neighbours with lightsabers, and now this. OUt with ya. I want you out by morning!"
You: "Alright baby, I got a condom. Let's get busy!"
Her: "Lando, how about little fucking romance you piece of shit? Ain't you never been laid before?
You: "Yeah, but you're really hot and...
Her: "Wait wait wait! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"
You: "Nothing. Alright, you want some roman-"
Her: "Seriously, what the fuck is that thing? Let's see that shit. What the fuck? What is that wrapped around your dick?
You: "Nothing."
Her: "Bullshit."
You: "ok, it's a condom."
Her: "It is not, what is it?"
You: "Fine, it's a piece of burlap sack condom - listen, it's the best I could-
Her: "You crazy nigger. Do you really think that you're gonna stick that fucking potatoey-smelling, nigga-brand nappy head motha-fucking shit storm in my fucking snatch? THAT'S IT LANDO! YOU TAKE YOUR STARWARS CLOUD CITY MOTHER FUCKING SELF AND GET THE FUCK OFF ME. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Grandma: "Chile? Wha-whas go'n on down thah? Is you trying to fuck one of them sluts down there again? Charlie? Get yo' good fo' nothing self down heah' and see what yo' lazy-assed grandson is trying to do to the ho down in our house"
Grandpa: "That's it, Lando. I've had enough of this. First you're running around snortin' cocaine and hittin the neighbours with lightsabers, and now this. OUt with ya. I want you out by morning!"
by Pollup January 18, 2008
Get the Burlap Sack Condom mug.When the tensions between two or more rival gangs reaches a critical point in which the outcomes of any violent act would be devastating to all parties.
In the early 1990s, when Whitey's control over street gangs was much more pronounced, the main fear during a situation of Street Brinkmanship was that violence would spill into the suburbs and cause the hammer of the white devil to fall from the sky. As a result, Street Brinkmanship was maintained through the practice of having satellite affiliate gangs perform indirect attacks on gang assets through much milder warfare. The warfare was often set up to look like "some crackhead" got his hands on a gun and blew a whole bunch of motherfuckers away.
Into the early 2000s, however, Whitey's control over street gang activities became less obvious (although farther reaching and exponentially more sophisticated). Only the most intelligent gang members were able to steer their "Ghetto Pirate Ships" through the webs of deceit that were woven by evil "Prime Movers" who governed the urban underworld from back rooms in sinister-looking high-rises. It was imperative, therefore, for all gangs to protect the unsettled peace that was imposed upon them for fear of repercussions unimaginable to mortal men.
In the early 1990s, when Whitey's control over street gangs was much more pronounced, the main fear during a situation of Street Brinkmanship was that violence would spill into the suburbs and cause the hammer of the white devil to fall from the sky. As a result, Street Brinkmanship was maintained through the practice of having satellite affiliate gangs perform indirect attacks on gang assets through much milder warfare. The warfare was often set up to look like "some crackhead" got his hands on a gun and blew a whole bunch of motherfuckers away.
Into the early 2000s, however, Whitey's control over street gang activities became less obvious (although farther reaching and exponentially more sophisticated). Only the most intelligent gang members were able to steer their "Ghetto Pirate Ships" through the webs of deceit that were woven by evil "Prime Movers" who governed the urban underworld from back rooms in sinister-looking high-rises. It was imperative, therefore, for all gangs to protect the unsettled peace that was imposed upon them for fear of repercussions unimaginable to mortal men.
Crip #1: I wanted to fuck that motherfucker up, but my man, Slimey, will let "The Old Man in the Tower" know about it and he'll feed my family to pigs.
Crip #2: That's fucked, man. I wish it was like the old days where you could go out and blast a motherfucker without having to get permission from some old white dude. The Bloods been waitin' for this motherfuckin' shit and we's afraid to deliver.
Crip #1: Chill it, bro. Let's keep waitin'. I don't want get no cement shoes or nothin'. A niggah will get his own when he has it comin'. Maintain, motherfucker. Maintain the Street Brinkmanship. Let's get us some tacos.
Crip #2: A'ight.
Crip #2: That's fucked, man. I wish it was like the old days where you could go out and blast a motherfucker without having to get permission from some old white dude. The Bloods been waitin' for this motherfuckin' shit and we's afraid to deliver.
Crip #1: Chill it, bro. Let's keep waitin'. I don't want get no cement shoes or nothin'. A niggah will get his own when he has it comin'. Maintain, motherfucker. Maintain the Street Brinkmanship. Let's get us some tacos.
Crip #2: A'ight.
by pollup January 11, 2008
Get the street brinkmanship mug.A casual reference to someone that you don't hate, but think is a really huge loser. There is no reason for thinking he is a loser, he just is.
Generally, dink touchers are super nice guys with lots of friends. However, when you meet them, you just think: "man, this guy is a huge dink toucher."
When you are hanging around with dink touchers, you generally pretend to be friends with them. But when you get home, you complain to your wife/girlfriend about how much they suck and that you don't want to hang around with them any more. Then your wife/girlfriend gets mad at you and asks you to explain why that guy was a dink toucher. You don't have an explanation and lose the argument. Then you end up hanging around with the guy over and over again.
Generally, dink touchers are super nice guys with lots of friends. However, when you meet them, you just think: "man, this guy is a huge dink toucher."
When you are hanging around with dink touchers, you generally pretend to be friends with them. But when you get home, you complain to your wife/girlfriend about how much they suck and that you don't want to hang around with them any more. Then your wife/girlfriend gets mad at you and asks you to explain why that guy was a dink toucher. You don't have an explanation and lose the argument. Then you end up hanging around with the guy over and over again.
Last night I was hanging out with my wife's work friends. There was this one guy, Steve, and he was a super-huge dink toucher.
How so?
I don't know. He just was.
How so?
I don't know. He just was.
by Pollup December 25, 2007
Get the dink toucher mug.When a terrorist is about to set off a suicide bomb in the middle of a Middle Eastern market and shits himself before he can set off the bomb. Generally, the poo flies all over the place and ruins all the food in the market.
Akmed: sup Mohammed? Wow, this market is really packed, eh? Check out Abdul with his big, fancy chicken stand over there. Oh, look at me; I'm Abdul and I think I'm so important with my magical chicken stand. I provide protein for people and think I'm the hottest shit in town.
Mohammed: Ha ha. So true, so true. And what's with the ridiculous hat? Like, is the guy too cool to wear a turban? He thinks he's so Western with his flashy ball cap...it says "New York Mets" on it. What the fuck is that?
Akmed: I KNOW! Have you ever seen his wife? She doesn't even wear a Burka - like HELLO? Um...I wonder if she's going to hell.
Mohammed: Maybe she's a New York Met. Maybe that's what the hat means. Like, yeah...I'm Kuljeet and I'm Abdul's wife and I want to be New York Met - I'm so cool. Or maybe it means that she is not a virgin? Who knows. They are freaking weird.
Akmed: oh,oh -watch! He's killing the chicken. JUST DO IT ALREADY! Oh shit, do you think he heard me? Ha ha...duck! Ok, he didn't see us. I hate that about him. He always has to toss the chicken up in the air and then cut it's head off with -
************BOOM************!
Akmed: What happened?
Mohammed: Run! Suicide bomber!!!!!!!!!!!
Akmed: No, wait - what is that all over...?
Mohammed: Sick. Dude. There's shit everywhere. Must've been one of those suicide shitters. That is nasty.
Akmed: Yeah, like seriously. Hold it together for just another second, man. I hate those guys that are all scared and crap there pants right before. So lame.
Mohammed: I know. Ha ha - look! Abdul's stand has shit all over it. YEAH BITCH! Try and sell those chickens now, motherfucker! What a loser.
Akmed: Let's go take a shower.
Mohammed: uh...
Mohammed: Ha ha. So true, so true. And what's with the ridiculous hat? Like, is the guy too cool to wear a turban? He thinks he's so Western with his flashy ball cap...it says "New York Mets" on it. What the fuck is that?
Akmed: I KNOW! Have you ever seen his wife? She doesn't even wear a Burka - like HELLO? Um...I wonder if she's going to hell.
Mohammed: Maybe she's a New York Met. Maybe that's what the hat means. Like, yeah...I'm Kuljeet and I'm Abdul's wife and I want to be New York Met - I'm so cool. Or maybe it means that she is not a virgin? Who knows. They are freaking weird.
Akmed: oh,oh -watch! He's killing the chicken. JUST DO IT ALREADY! Oh shit, do you think he heard me? Ha ha...duck! Ok, he didn't see us. I hate that about him. He always has to toss the chicken up in the air and then cut it's head off with -
************BOOM************!
Akmed: What happened?
Mohammed: Run! Suicide bomber!!!!!!!!!!!
Akmed: No, wait - what is that all over...?
Mohammed: Sick. Dude. There's shit everywhere. Must've been one of those suicide shitters. That is nasty.
Akmed: Yeah, like seriously. Hold it together for just another second, man. I hate those guys that are all scared and crap there pants right before. So lame.
Mohammed: I know. Ha ha - look! Abdul's stand has shit all over it. YEAH BITCH! Try and sell those chickens now, motherfucker! What a loser.
Akmed: Let's go take a shower.
Mohammed: uh...
by Pollup January 31, 2008
Get the Suicide Shitter mug.Man, that guy has the mumps!
What?! Man, his testicles must be harshly sterile and inflamed.
Yeah. Nasty.
What?! Man, his testicles must be harshly sterile and inflamed.
Yeah. Nasty.
by Pollup December 29, 2007
Get the mumps mug.