pollup's definitions
When a terrorist is about to set off a suicide bomb in the middle of a Middle Eastern market and shits himself before he can set off the bomb. Generally, the poo flies all over the place and ruins all the food in the market.
Akmed: sup Mohammed? Wow, this market is really packed, eh? Check out Abdul with his big, fancy chicken stand over there. Oh, look at me; I'm Abdul and I think I'm so important with my magical chicken stand. I provide protein for people and think I'm the hottest shit in town.
Mohammed: Ha ha. So true, so true. And what's with the ridiculous hat? Like, is the guy too cool to wear a turban? He thinks he's so Western with his flashy ball cap...it says "New York Mets" on it. What the fuck is that?
Akmed: I KNOW! Have you ever seen his wife? She doesn't even wear a Burka - like HELLO? Um...I wonder if she's going to hell.
Mohammed: Maybe she's a New York Met. Maybe that's what the hat means. Like, yeah...I'm Kuljeet and I'm Abdul's wife and I want to be New York Met - I'm so cool. Or maybe it means that she is not a virgin? Who knows. They are freaking weird.
Akmed: oh,oh -watch! He's killing the chicken. JUST DO IT ALREADY! Oh shit, do you think he heard me? Ha ha...duck! Ok, he didn't see us. I hate that about him. He always has to toss the chicken up in the air and then cut it's head off with -
************BOOM************!
Akmed: What happened?
Mohammed: Run! Suicide bomber!!!!!!!!!!!
Akmed: No, wait - what is that all over...?
Mohammed: Sick. Dude. There's shit everywhere. Must've been one of those suicide shitters. That is nasty.
Akmed: Yeah, like seriously. Hold it together for just another second, man. I hate those guys that are all scared and crap there pants right before. So lame.
Mohammed: I know. Ha ha - look! Abdul's stand has shit all over it. YEAH BITCH! Try and sell those chickens now, motherfucker! What a loser.
Akmed: Let's go take a shower.
Mohammed: uh...
Mohammed: Ha ha. So true, so true. And what's with the ridiculous hat? Like, is the guy too cool to wear a turban? He thinks he's so Western with his flashy ball cap...it says "New York Mets" on it. What the fuck is that?
Akmed: I KNOW! Have you ever seen his wife? She doesn't even wear a Burka - like HELLO? Um...I wonder if she's going to hell.
Mohammed: Maybe she's a New York Met. Maybe that's what the hat means. Like, yeah...I'm Kuljeet and I'm Abdul's wife and I want to be New York Met - I'm so cool. Or maybe it means that she is not a virgin? Who knows. They are freaking weird.
Akmed: oh,oh -watch! He's killing the chicken. JUST DO IT ALREADY! Oh shit, do you think he heard me? Ha ha...duck! Ok, he didn't see us. I hate that about him. He always has to toss the chicken up in the air and then cut it's head off with -
************BOOM************!
Akmed: What happened?
Mohammed: Run! Suicide bomber!!!!!!!!!!!
Akmed: No, wait - what is that all over...?
Mohammed: Sick. Dude. There's shit everywhere. Must've been one of those suicide shitters. That is nasty.
Akmed: Yeah, like seriously. Hold it together for just another second, man. I hate those guys that are all scared and crap there pants right before. So lame.
Mohammed: I know. Ha ha - look! Abdul's stand has shit all over it. YEAH BITCH! Try and sell those chickens now, motherfucker! What a loser.
Akmed: Let's go take a shower.
Mohammed: uh...
by Pollup January 31, 2008
Get the Suicide Shitter mug.A casual reference to someone that you don't hate, but think is a really huge loser. There is no reason for thinking he is a loser, he just is.
Generally, dink touchers are super nice guys with lots of friends. However, when you meet them, you just think: "man, this guy is a huge dink toucher."
When you are hanging around with dink touchers, you generally pretend to be friends with them. But when you get home, you complain to your wife/girlfriend about how much they suck and that you don't want to hang around with them any more. Then your wife/girlfriend gets mad at you and asks you to explain why that guy was a dink toucher. You don't have an explanation and lose the argument. Then you end up hanging around with the guy over and over again.
Generally, dink touchers are super nice guys with lots of friends. However, when you meet them, you just think: "man, this guy is a huge dink toucher."
When you are hanging around with dink touchers, you generally pretend to be friends with them. But when you get home, you complain to your wife/girlfriend about how much they suck and that you don't want to hang around with them any more. Then your wife/girlfriend gets mad at you and asks you to explain why that guy was a dink toucher. You don't have an explanation and lose the argument. Then you end up hanging around with the guy over and over again.
Last night I was hanging out with my wife's work friends. There was this one guy, Steve, and he was a super-huge dink toucher.
How so?
I don't know. He just was.
How so?
I don't know. He just was.
by Pollup December 25, 2007
Get the dink toucher mug.Man, that guy has the mumps!
What?! Man, his testicles must be harshly sterile and inflamed.
Yeah. Nasty.
What?! Man, his testicles must be harshly sterile and inflamed.
Yeah. Nasty.
by Pollup December 29, 2007
Get the mumps mug.When you wanna bang some slut and can't find a condom. So you run up the stairs to the living room and ask your grandma to knit you some protection. She doesn't know what the hell you're talking about, so you run out to the garage and dump all the potatoes out of the burlap sack that your Grandpa keeps out there.
You grab some scissors and cut out a funnel-shaped piece and rush back down to the basement where the slut is already waiting for you.
You wrap the Burlap Sack piece around your Johnson and start moving towards her.
She freaks out and wakes up your whole household. The next weekend you're moving into your own apartment and figuring out how to get a job.
You grab some scissors and cut out a funnel-shaped piece and rush back down to the basement where the slut is already waiting for you.
You wrap the Burlap Sack piece around your Johnson and start moving towards her.
She freaks out and wakes up your whole household. The next weekend you're moving into your own apartment and figuring out how to get a job.
Conversation Held in the basement:
You: "Alright baby, I got a condom. Let's get busy!"
Her: "Lando, how about little fucking romance you piece of shit? Ain't you never been laid before?
You: "Yeah, but you're really hot and...
Her: "Wait wait wait! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"
You: "Nothing. Alright, you want some roman-"
Her: "Seriously, what the fuck is that thing? Let's see that shit. What the fuck? What is that wrapped around your dick?
You: "Nothing."
Her: "Bullshit."
You: "ok, it's a condom."
Her: "It is not, what is it?"
You: "Fine, it's a piece of burlap sack condom - listen, it's the best I could-
Her: "You crazy nigger. Do you really think that you're gonna stick that fucking potatoey-smelling, nigga-brand nappy head motha-fucking shit storm in my fucking snatch? THAT'S IT LANDO! YOU TAKE YOUR STARWARS CLOUD CITY MOTHER FUCKING SELF AND GET THE FUCK OFF ME. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Grandma: "Chile? Wha-whas go'n on down thah? Is you trying to fuck one of them sluts down there again? Charlie? Get yo' good fo' nothing self down heah' and see what yo' lazy-assed grandson is trying to do to the ho down in our house"
Grandpa: "That's it, Lando. I've had enough of this. First you're running around snortin' cocaine and hittin the neighbours with lightsabers, and now this. OUt with ya. I want you out by morning!"
You: "Alright baby, I got a condom. Let's get busy!"
Her: "Lando, how about little fucking romance you piece of shit? Ain't you never been laid before?
You: "Yeah, but you're really hot and...
Her: "Wait wait wait! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"
You: "Nothing. Alright, you want some roman-"
Her: "Seriously, what the fuck is that thing? Let's see that shit. What the fuck? What is that wrapped around your dick?
You: "Nothing."
Her: "Bullshit."
You: "ok, it's a condom."
Her: "It is not, what is it?"
You: "Fine, it's a piece of burlap sack condom - listen, it's the best I could-
Her: "You crazy nigger. Do you really think that you're gonna stick that fucking potatoey-smelling, nigga-brand nappy head motha-fucking shit storm in my fucking snatch? THAT'S IT LANDO! YOU TAKE YOUR STARWARS CLOUD CITY MOTHER FUCKING SELF AND GET THE FUCK OFF ME. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Grandma: "Chile? Wha-whas go'n on down thah? Is you trying to fuck one of them sluts down there again? Charlie? Get yo' good fo' nothing self down heah' and see what yo' lazy-assed grandson is trying to do to the ho down in our house"
Grandpa: "That's it, Lando. I've had enough of this. First you're running around snortin' cocaine and hittin the neighbours with lightsabers, and now this. OUt with ya. I want you out by morning!"
by Pollup January 18, 2008
Get the Burlap Sack Condom mug.Man, I was battling the Empire and accidentally shot Chewie in the ankle with my laser gun. He grabbed me and threw me across the room. Then he roared at my nuts and they shriveled up into little puff balls.
They were Ewok balls.
They were Ewok balls.
by Pollup January 14, 2008
Get the Ewok balls mug.When you trick a seemingly innocent girl into letting you have anal sex with her, and you return from the bathroom to find that she's gone and has taken a huge shit in the middle of your bed.
Sometimes, if she was super pissed about it, she takes the dump in your drawer and you don't find it for a few days.
Sometimes, if she was super pissed about it, she takes the dump in your drawer and you don't find it for a few days.
Biff: "Hey Floyd - that stupid slut you hooked me up with last night. Yeah, uh, I don't know how to tell you this, but she crapped in my bed."
Floyd: "Uh...what do you mean?"
Biff: "Are you retarded? I fucked Leona in the ass, and then when I went to wash my cock off she took a massive crap in my bed. Those sheets will never be the same. Corn and peas. NA-A-STY!
Floyd: "Corn AND peas? That is fucking rotten. I mean, if it was only corn I could see-"
Biff: "Shut up you asshole. Listen, you're not going to tell ANYONE about this. I'll beat your ass if you do. But seriously, that bitch got pretty hard revenge on me. My mama gave me those sheets and she always asks about them. How can I tell her that some skank took a huge, squirrelly dump in them because I analed her?"
Floyd: "Just tell her that a homeless guy broke into your-"
Biff: "Dude, you suck."
Floyd: "Uh...what do you mean?"
Biff: "Are you retarded? I fucked Leona in the ass, and then when I went to wash my cock off she took a massive crap in my bed. Those sheets will never be the same. Corn and peas. NA-A-STY!
Floyd: "Corn AND peas? That is fucking rotten. I mean, if it was only corn I could see-"
Biff: "Shut up you asshole. Listen, you're not going to tell ANYONE about this. I'll beat your ass if you do. But seriously, that bitch got pretty hard revenge on me. My mama gave me those sheets and she always asks about them. How can I tell her that some skank took a huge, squirrelly dump in them because I analed her?"
Floyd: "Just tell her that a homeless guy broke into your-"
Biff: "Dude, you suck."
by Pollup December 25, 2007
Get the revenge mug.The opposite of a lesbian. Generally, morebians really, really like cock. Unfortunately, they are 900-pound wookie-dykes who have to settle for lesbian love because no man in his right mind would risk falling into the abyss of despair (aka: huge fat bitch snatch).
Morebians are resentful towards men because when they were 15, a guy dated them for a week and then had to break up. These women were so hurt by this immature young man that they harboured a lifelong resentment towards him, despite the fact that if they stopped and thought about it, they are fucking psychotic bitches.
So, these hound dogs spent the rest of their pathetic adolescences staying home on weekends eating chips and ice cream.
Finally after turning thirty and never having touched a man in their adult lives, they suddenly weighed 900 pounds and had "heart difficulties." Then came the snatch-licking. So much dirty lesbian snatch that it would make you vomit. Ew.
Because these morebians were so disconnected from their one true desire, a man, they devoted the rest of their pathetic lives to being huge, giant lesbians. At least they're getting something.
Morebians are resentful towards men because when they were 15, a guy dated them for a week and then had to break up. These women were so hurt by this immature young man that they harboured a lifelong resentment towards him, despite the fact that if they stopped and thought about it, they are fucking psychotic bitches.
So, these hound dogs spent the rest of their pathetic adolescences staying home on weekends eating chips and ice cream.
Finally after turning thirty and never having touched a man in their adult lives, they suddenly weighed 900 pounds and had "heart difficulties." Then came the snatch-licking. So much dirty lesbian snatch that it would make you vomit. Ew.
Because these morebians were so disconnected from their one true desire, a man, they devoted the rest of their pathetic lives to being huge, giant lesbians. At least they're getting something.
Man, I thought that was a couch. I was about to sit down and then I looked closer and it was one of those huge angry bitches that hate men. Fuck - I almost got eaten!
I would call her a lesbian, but she's so huge and angry that I have to call her a morebian. That's because there certainly isn't "less" of her. There's "more."
Holy shit! Watch out - she's eating that guy!
I would call her a lesbian, but she's so huge and angry that I have to call her a morebian. That's because there certainly isn't "less" of her. There's "more."
Holy shit! Watch out - she's eating that guy!
by Pollup January 14, 2008
Get the morebian mug.