cock vendor

A really, really huge black dude who pimps out skinny white dudes. Cock vendors are usually named Aram or Jeeves and they always carry a machete. They are descendants of the great "Harry White," a prostitution visionary.

You can find cock vendors in most large cities hanging out on the corner pretending to be Rastafarians. Don't be fooled - the hair is fake.

Not to be confused with pimps.
Man, let's grab some grub and then go visit the cock vendor. He'll fix us right up.
by Pollup November 15, 2007
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shit herpes

When your fecal matter itches and has cuts all over it. The shit often doesn't fit in in polite social circles.
I sure feel sorry for my shit. It had shit herpes.
by pollup December 29, 2007
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Root

The aetheist equivalent of prayer. Aetheists don't believe in prayer, so they root for things instead.
by Pollup December 03, 2007
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Cunt muffler

A device that keeps some vaginas from making a whole bunch of noise when they're driving.
Man, put a cunt muffler on that bitch's snatch. It won't shut up.
by Pollup January 07, 2008
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Burlap Sack Condom

When you wanna bang some slut and can't find a condom. So you run up the stairs to the living room and ask your grandma to knit you some protection. She doesn't know what the hell you're talking about, so you run out to the garage and dump all the potatoes out of the burlap sack that your Grandpa keeps out there.

You grab some scissors and cut out a funnel-shaped piece and rush back down to the basement where the slut is already waiting for you.

You wrap the Burlap Sack piece around your Johnson and start moving towards her.

She freaks out and wakes up your whole household. The next weekend you're moving into your own apartment and figuring out how to get a job.
Conversation Held in the basement:

You: "Alright baby, I got a condom. Let's get busy!"
Her: "Lando, how about little fucking romance you piece of shit? Ain't you never been laid before?
You: "Yeah, but you're really hot and...
Her: "Wait wait wait! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"
You: "Nothing. Alright, you want some roman-"
Her: "Seriously, what the fuck is that thing? Let's see that shit. What the fuck? What is that wrapped around your dick?
You: "Nothing."
Her: "Bullshit."
You: "ok, it's a condom."
Her: "It is not, what is it?"
You: "Fine, it's a piece of burlap sack condom - listen, it's the best I could-
Her: "You crazy nigger. Do you really think that you're gonna stick that fucking potatoey-smelling, nigga-brand nappy head motha-fucking shit storm in my fucking snatch? THAT'S IT LANDO! YOU TAKE YOUR STARWARS CLOUD CITY MOTHER FUCKING SELF AND GET THE FUCK OFF ME. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Grandma: "Chile? Wha-whas go'n on down thah? Is you trying to fuck one of them sluts down there again? Charlie? Get yo' good fo' nothing self down heah' and see what yo' lazy-assed grandson is trying to do to the ho down in our house"
Grandpa: "That's it, Lando. I've had enough of this. First you're running around snortin' cocaine and hittin the neighbours with lightsabers, and now this. OUt with ya. I want you out by morning!"
by Pollup January 17, 2008
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One Word

The term "one word" is used in place of the term "gay," usually in Politically correct environments such as offices or family dinners. The usage of the term "gay" in this instance refers to lame situations, not someone's sexual orientation.

The term only works when the speaker and the listener are both familiar with one another's lingo.
Ernie: Hey Frankie, how was the weekend?

Frankie: Oh, it was pretty bad. My girlfriend made me watch Titanic and then she started singing along with that crappy Celine Dion song...

Ernie: One word.

Frankie: Indeed. One word.
by Pollup December 02, 2007
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mutton cunt

When a girl's vagina tastes a little funny. Sometimes the "mutton-esque" flavour comes on as the result of middle age.

When you eat out the snatch of an 18-year old girl, it tastes quite a bit like lamb chops.

But when you eat out some dirty old cougar, it tastes kinda wonky. A mutton cunt!

BAAAAAAA!
by Pollup January 10, 2008
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