pollup's definitions
When you wanna bang some slut and can't find a condom. So you run up the stairs to the living room and ask your grandma to knit you some protection. She doesn't know what the hell you're talking about, so you run out to the garage and dump all the potatoes out of the burlap sack that your Grandpa keeps out there.
You grab some scissors and cut out a funnel-shaped piece and rush back down to the basement where the slut is already waiting for you.
You wrap the Burlap Sack piece around your Johnson and start moving towards her.
She freaks out and wakes up your whole household. The next weekend you're moving into your own apartment and figuring out how to get a job.
You grab some scissors and cut out a funnel-shaped piece and rush back down to the basement where the slut is already waiting for you.
You wrap the Burlap Sack piece around your Johnson and start moving towards her.
She freaks out and wakes up your whole household. The next weekend you're moving into your own apartment and figuring out how to get a job.
Conversation Held in the basement:
You: "Alright baby, I got a condom. Let's get busy!"
Her: "Lando, how about little fucking romance you piece of shit? Ain't you never been laid before?
You: "Yeah, but you're really hot and...
Her: "Wait wait wait! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"
You: "Nothing. Alright, you want some roman-"
Her: "Seriously, what the fuck is that thing? Let's see that shit. What the fuck? What is that wrapped around your dick?
You: "Nothing."
Her: "Bullshit."
You: "ok, it's a condom."
Her: "It is not, what is it?"
You: "Fine, it's a piece of burlap sack condom - listen, it's the best I could-
Her: "You crazy nigger. Do you really think that you're gonna stick that fucking potatoey-smelling, nigga-brand nappy head motha-fucking shit storm in my fucking snatch? THAT'S IT LANDO! YOU TAKE YOUR STARWARS CLOUD CITY MOTHER FUCKING SELF AND GET THE FUCK OFF ME. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Grandma: "Chile? Wha-whas go'n on down thah? Is you trying to fuck one of them sluts down there again? Charlie? Get yo' good fo' nothing self down heah' and see what yo' lazy-assed grandson is trying to do to the ho down in our house"
Grandpa: "That's it, Lando. I've had enough of this. First you're running around snortin' cocaine and hittin the neighbours with lightsabers, and now this. OUt with ya. I want you out by morning!"
You: "Alright baby, I got a condom. Let's get busy!"
Her: "Lando, how about little fucking romance you piece of shit? Ain't you never been laid before?
You: "Yeah, but you're really hot and...
Her: "Wait wait wait! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"
You: "Nothing. Alright, you want some roman-"
Her: "Seriously, what the fuck is that thing? Let's see that shit. What the fuck? What is that wrapped around your dick?
You: "Nothing."
Her: "Bullshit."
You: "ok, it's a condom."
Her: "It is not, what is it?"
You: "Fine, it's a piece of burlap sack condom - listen, it's the best I could-
Her: "You crazy nigger. Do you really think that you're gonna stick that fucking potatoey-smelling, nigga-brand nappy head motha-fucking shit storm in my fucking snatch? THAT'S IT LANDO! YOU TAKE YOUR STARWARS CLOUD CITY MOTHER FUCKING SELF AND GET THE FUCK OFF ME. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Grandma: "Chile? Wha-whas go'n on down thah? Is you trying to fuck one of them sluts down there again? Charlie? Get yo' good fo' nothing self down heah' and see what yo' lazy-assed grandson is trying to do to the ho down in our house"
Grandpa: "That's it, Lando. I've had enough of this. First you're running around snortin' cocaine and hittin the neighbours with lightsabers, and now this. OUt with ya. I want you out by morning!"
by Pollup January 18, 2008
Get the Burlap Sack Condommug. The Anglicized Polish slang word for "Pimp." The word is commonly used in Chicago as a combination of the words "Prekiodor" (Spanish Stud) and "Rekkus Raxus" (Polish Guard) to refer to one who is especially studly and awesome.
by pollup January 11, 2008
Get the Piprekmug. America is probably the worst country in the world. Not surprisingly, 50% of its occupants also think it sucks ass. Think about it - can you name a country in the world in which at least half of its citizens think it sucks? Nope. Even Somalians love their country more than Americans do.
Boy, I hate living in America, don't you?
Yep. I shore do, buckwheat. I shore do.
Wanna go start a pointless war to distract our fellow citizens from reality?
Good idea. See you there. Bring your child raping kit and some grenades.
Ok.
Yep. I shore do, buckwheat. I shore do.
Wanna go start a pointless war to distract our fellow citizens from reality?
Good idea. See you there. Bring your child raping kit and some grenades.
Ok.
by Pollup October 1, 2008
Get the Americamug. The opposite of a lesbian. Generally, morebians really, really like cock. Unfortunately, they are 900-pound wookie-dykes who have to settle for lesbian love because no man in his right mind would risk falling into the abyss of despair (aka: huge fat bitch snatch).
Morebians are resentful towards men because when they were 15, a guy dated them for a week and then had to break up. These women were so hurt by this immature young man that they harboured a lifelong resentment towards him, despite the fact that if they stopped and thought about it, they are fucking psychotic bitches.
So, these hound dogs spent the rest of their pathetic adolescences staying home on weekends eating chips and ice cream.
Finally after turning thirty and never having touched a man in their adult lives, they suddenly weighed 900 pounds and had "heart difficulties." Then came the snatch-licking. So much dirty lesbian snatch that it would make you vomit. Ew.
Because these morebians were so disconnected from their one true desire, a man, they devoted the rest of their pathetic lives to being huge, giant lesbians. At least they're getting something.
Morebians are resentful towards men because when they were 15, a guy dated them for a week and then had to break up. These women were so hurt by this immature young man that they harboured a lifelong resentment towards him, despite the fact that if they stopped and thought about it, they are fucking psychotic bitches.
So, these hound dogs spent the rest of their pathetic adolescences staying home on weekends eating chips and ice cream.
Finally after turning thirty and never having touched a man in their adult lives, they suddenly weighed 900 pounds and had "heart difficulties." Then came the snatch-licking. So much dirty lesbian snatch that it would make you vomit. Ew.
Because these morebians were so disconnected from their one true desire, a man, they devoted the rest of their pathetic lives to being huge, giant lesbians. At least they're getting something.
Man, I thought that was a couch. I was about to sit down and then I looked closer and it was one of those huge angry bitches that hate men. Fuck - I almost got eaten!
I would call her a lesbian, but she's so huge and angry that I have to call her a morebian. That's because there certainly isn't "less" of her. There's "more."
Holy shit! Watch out - she's eating that guy!
I would call her a lesbian, but she's so huge and angry that I have to call her a morebian. That's because there certainly isn't "less" of her. There's "more."
Holy shit! Watch out - she's eating that guy!
by Pollup January 14, 2008
Get the morebianmug. The aetheist equivalent of prayer. Aetheists don't believe in prayer, so they root for things instead.
by Pollup December 29, 2007
Get the Rootmug. Hey Charlene! That guy you hooked me up with last night - um, yeah...I went to give him a blow job and he had the really raunchy funky pickle"
by Pollup December 25, 2007
Get the funky picklemug. Dude! you gotta help me. I'm trapped in my room and there's some fucking guy outside. He's freaking the shit out of me. He's got a gun and his name is Biff.
I know this is fucked up - just add this definition so the world can know.
Please.
Help!
I know this is fucked up - just add this definition so the world can know.
Please.
Help!
by Pollup January 13, 2008
Get the helpmug.