pollup's definitions
Man, my grandma was really horny last night. I decided to oblige after she took her teeth out.
Fumbling in the poorly lit bedroom, I couldn't find my tube of lube. She moaned "give it to me Hansel!"
Shuddering with disgust, I closed off my left nostril and blew a filthy, brown-green snot clot all over her clitoris (which was withered and deformed with age).
Then I gave her a hard hump and had my first official booger sex.
Fumbling in the poorly lit bedroom, I couldn't find my tube of lube. She moaned "give it to me Hansel!"
Shuddering with disgust, I closed off my left nostril and blew a filthy, brown-green snot clot all over her clitoris (which was withered and deformed with age).
Then I gave her a hard hump and had my first official booger sex.
by Pollup December 11, 2007
Get the booger sex mug.A really, really huge black dude who pimps out skinny white dudes. Cock vendors are usually named Aram or Jeeves and they always carry a machete. They are descendants of the great "Harry White," a prostitution visionary.
You can find cock vendors in most large cities hanging out on the corner pretending to be Rastafarians. Don't be fooled - the hair is fake.
Not to be confused with pimps.
You can find cock vendors in most large cities hanging out on the corner pretending to be Rastafarians. Don't be fooled - the hair is fake.
Not to be confused with pimps.
by Pollup December 11, 2007
Get the cock vendor mug.America is probably the worst country in the world. Not surprisingly, 50% of its occupants also think it sucks ass. Think about it - can you name a country in the world in which at least half of its citizens think it sucks? Nope. Even Somalians love their country more than Americans do.
Boy, I hate living in America, don't you?
Yep. I shore do, buckwheat. I shore do.
Wanna go start a pointless war to distract our fellow citizens from reality?
Good idea. See you there. Bring your child raping kit and some grenades.
Ok.
Yep. I shore do, buckwheat. I shore do.
Wanna go start a pointless war to distract our fellow citizens from reality?
Good idea. See you there. Bring your child raping kit and some grenades.
Ok.
by Pollup October 1, 2008
Get the America mug.The semen that gets on your computer keyboard when you jerk off after Urban Dictionary Editors approve yet another fucking retarded definition that you made up.
Retard: Fuck, I just got UD nut slop all over my keyboard!
Retard 2: Dude, why did you just phone me and tell me t-?
Retard: Dad?
Retard 2: What? You thought I was YOUR DAD!? Man, that is some fucked up shit.
*Click*
Retard 2: Dude, why did you just phone me and tell me t-?
Retard: Dad?
Retard 2: What? You thought I was YOUR DAD!? Man, that is some fucked up shit.
*Click*
by pollup January 11, 2008
Get the UD Nut Slop mug.The Anglicized Polish slang word for "Pimp." The word is commonly used in Chicago as a combination of the words "Prekiodor" (Spanish Stud) and "Rekkus Raxus" (Polish Guard) to refer to one who is especially studly and awesome.
by pollup January 11, 2008
Get the Piprek mug.When you wanna bang some slut and can't find a condom. So you run up the stairs to the living room and ask your grandma to knit you some protection. She doesn't know what the hell you're talking about, so you run out to the garage and dump all the potatoes out of the burlap sack that your Grandpa keeps out there.
You grab some scissors and cut out a funnel-shaped piece and rush back down to the basement where the slut is already waiting for you.
You wrap the Burlap Sack piece around your Johnson and start moving towards her.
She freaks out and wakes up your whole household. The next weekend you're moving into your own apartment and figuring out how to get a job.
You grab some scissors and cut out a funnel-shaped piece and rush back down to the basement where the slut is already waiting for you.
You wrap the Burlap Sack piece around your Johnson and start moving towards her.
She freaks out and wakes up your whole household. The next weekend you're moving into your own apartment and figuring out how to get a job.
Conversation Held in the basement:
You: "Alright baby, I got a condom. Let's get busy!"
Her: "Lando, how about little fucking romance you piece of shit? Ain't you never been laid before?
You: "Yeah, but you're really hot and...
Her: "Wait wait wait! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"
You: "Nothing. Alright, you want some roman-"
Her: "Seriously, what the fuck is that thing? Let's see that shit. What the fuck? What is that wrapped around your dick?
You: "Nothing."
Her: "Bullshit."
You: "ok, it's a condom."
Her: "It is not, what is it?"
You: "Fine, it's a piece of burlap sack condom - listen, it's the best I could-
Her: "You crazy nigger. Do you really think that you're gonna stick that fucking potatoey-smelling, nigga-brand nappy head motha-fucking shit storm in my fucking snatch? THAT'S IT LANDO! YOU TAKE YOUR STARWARS CLOUD CITY MOTHER FUCKING SELF AND GET THE FUCK OFF ME. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Grandma: "Chile? Wha-whas go'n on down thah? Is you trying to fuck one of them sluts down there again? Charlie? Get yo' good fo' nothing self down heah' and see what yo' lazy-assed grandson is trying to do to the ho down in our house"
Grandpa: "That's it, Lando. I've had enough of this. First you're running around snortin' cocaine and hittin the neighbours with lightsabers, and now this. OUt with ya. I want you out by morning!"
You: "Alright baby, I got a condom. Let's get busy!"
Her: "Lando, how about little fucking romance you piece of shit? Ain't you never been laid before?
You: "Yeah, but you're really hot and...
Her: "Wait wait wait! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"
You: "Nothing. Alright, you want some roman-"
Her: "Seriously, what the fuck is that thing? Let's see that shit. What the fuck? What is that wrapped around your dick?
You: "Nothing."
Her: "Bullshit."
You: "ok, it's a condom."
Her: "It is not, what is it?"
You: "Fine, it's a piece of burlap sack condom - listen, it's the best I could-
Her: "You crazy nigger. Do you really think that you're gonna stick that fucking potatoey-smelling, nigga-brand nappy head motha-fucking shit storm in my fucking snatch? THAT'S IT LANDO! YOU TAKE YOUR STARWARS CLOUD CITY MOTHER FUCKING SELF AND GET THE FUCK OFF ME. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Grandma: "Chile? Wha-whas go'n on down thah? Is you trying to fuck one of them sluts down there again? Charlie? Get yo' good fo' nothing self down heah' and see what yo' lazy-assed grandson is trying to do to the ho down in our house"
Grandpa: "That's it, Lando. I've had enough of this. First you're running around snortin' cocaine and hittin the neighbours with lightsabers, and now this. OUt with ya. I want you out by morning!"
by Pollup January 18, 2008
Get the Burlap Sack Condom mug.When your fecal matter itches and has cuts all over it. The shit often doesn't fit in in polite social circles.
by pollup January 11, 2008
Get the shit herpes mug.