phillydrifter's definitions

manplaster

(noun) slang, off-color language of a man's seminal fluid, i.e. the substance a man ejaculates when he does.

Remember that girl I left the bar with last night? I left manplaster all over her ass then shoved her out the door naked!

by phillydrifter July 28, 2011

reality denialist

Someone who believes ancient scriptures from primitive peoples -- not so primitive however that they had developed basic human evolutionary tendencies such as a desiring and eventually developing systems -- i.e. written language, starting with paintings on cave walls -- over what we have now learned is possible due to scientific thought, a latter progression of evolution; in short, a religitard, a devoutly faithful FOLLOWER; granted, fear of anyone referred to as a 'god' can be a frightening experience

Can you believe NASA sent Curiosity, the newest, most advanced, up-to-date mechanical lab all the way to Mars, and it successfully overcame every obstacle in its path! Think of all things we could discover that we weren't already aware of yet!

"Jebus christ was gods only son -- himself -- tri-angulated against another part of himself -- a 'holy spirit' if you will -- to punish himself for punishing himself and when we die he will punish us by granting us eternal life forever -- in the firey pits of hell if we think for ourselves."

"oh look, a reality denialist."

by phillydrifter August 10, 2012

fapit

(<b>fap•</b>it) n. habit of fapping.

I'm in the fapit of beating off at least twice a day to keep my prostate healthy.

by Phillydrifter March 4, 2009

palintology

n. study in creationististic (!?) thought:
6001BC: nothing
6000BC: universe created with us at the center
7 days
rolls dice, tries once, fails
rolls again, fails, floods planet
rolls again...
hides dino skeletons to confuse

school of palintology:
palin: "blarg blarg
6001BC: nothing
6000BC: universe created with us at the center
7 days
rolls dice, tries once, fails
rolls again, fails, floods planet
rolls again...
hides dino skeletons to confuse
blarg"

by phillydrifter July 7, 2010

omnomlicious

to say that something is delicious in an internet-savvy way; attributed to 'om nom nom' kittens eating.

Regular popping corn, 62¢/lb, every kernel pops, spiced with McCormick's Montreal steak seasoning, is omnomlicious

by phillydrifter August 29, 2009

decoy pack

(noun) an empty cigarette pack that is intentionally kept (not crushed or thrown away) so when someone tries to bum a cigarette it can be used to justify not giving them one.

guy1: what a party last night! man you got any cigarettes?
guy2: I'm all out. (gestures to decoy pack on coffee table.)
guy1: I guess I'll have to go get more then.
guy2: see ya.
(guy1 leaves)
(guy2 pulls fresh pack from pocket and lights one up.)

by phillydrifter December 15, 2010

devert

not to be confused with 'divert,' already a word, or 'convert' which suggests dropping one set of beliefs and picking up another, DE-vert is someone who was brainwashed with religious myths from birth onward until they decided they'd rather think for themselves than blindly believe the myths written centuries ago with no proof that create all the world's various religions that if you did not bow down and worship some supernatural omnipotent being, you'd be sentenced to burn in the flames of hell forever.

This church used to be packed every Sunday, now most of our congregation has left to become critically thinking deverts.

by Phillydrifter December 17, 2008